Let me kick things off by saying I’m well-endowed. We’re talking about a bra size that takes a while to get through the alphabet. This “gift” from the Genetics Fairy came when I was only 11, attracting unwanted attention from boys in middle school and making simple activities like handstands a challenge (I mean, I can’t breathe!). Thus began my tumultuous relationship with my bust.
Now, if you’re part of the A-cup club chuckling, “I’d gladly take some of that,” I need you to check your Small Boob Privilege. The struggle is undeniably real for those of us with larger chests, and truly, I’d gladly join your IBTC (Itty Bitty Titty Committee) if it meant a little less back pain. Honestly, if there was a breast tissue donation bus at the local grocery store, I’d be first in line, indulging in snacks and free T-shirts while giving away my excess.
But alas, that’s not an option, and yes, I might be a bit jaded about it. Curious why? Let me take you back to the day I bought my first proper bra. While my friends were happily trying on cute A-cups at trendy stores, I found myself sulking through the adult section at a department store, waiting for my turn to be measured by a sweet little lady who smelled of baby powder and wore floral prints.
When it was finally my turn, I entered what felt like the largest fitting room ever, prepared for a TSA-level strip search. Grandma Baby Powder whipped out a measuring tape and instructed me to stand up, turn around, and spread my arms wide. I felt like a prize-winning watermelon as she exclaimed over my measurements. “You must have a family history of larger chests,” she remarked, which did nothing to ease my pre-teen embarrassment.
After scribbling down my size, she returned with the only two options available: a Pepto-pink design or a flesh-toned contraption that resembled a post-surgery wrap. How on earth was I supposed to choose? “Is this really it?” I squeaked, hoping for more options. “You’re lucky we even have your size,” she replied. “Typically, we don’t stock cups this large.”
My heart sank. If even a department store known for its wide selection couldn’t cater to my needs, what hope did I have? My mom whispered to the clerk that we’d take both options. At checkout, I was mortified to find that these two unsightly bras cost as much as a small car. “They’ll be super comfy, honey,” my mother assured me. Spoiler alert: they weren’t.
Fast forward two decades, and I can sadly report that little has changed. I’ve spent far too many hours wrestling with four hooks the size of my hand, battling back pain, and suffering through the agony of underwire breakage. How is it that we can innovate in so many areas—like space travel and life-saving medical advances—but still struggle to create a comfortable, stylish, and affordable bra for those of us with larger breasts?
This is a million-dollar idea waiting to happen! I’m calling out to innovators and entrepreneurs everywhere—let’s create a bra that actually works for women like me! Women who shy away from button-up shirts and wear multiple sports bras to avoid bouncing during a jog. Women who wouldn’t dare attempt a cartwheel for fear of a wardrobe malfunction.
Thousands of years ago, the Egyptians demonstrated their engineering prowess by moving heavy stones to create pyramids. Bra designers, there’s no excuse for not being able to lift a few pounds of breast tissue comfortably. It’s high time we focus on making decent, affordable bras for well-endowed women—ones that come in more than just two unappealing colors.
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In summary, the quest for a comfortable and stylish bra for larger breasts continues, and it’s a mission that deserves attention and innovation. Let’s hope someone steps up to create the perfect solution that caters to the needs of all women.