Honesty is a cornerstone of our family, and we strive to maintain that principle. We don’t deceive our children, nor do we accept dishonesty from them. However, it’s not necessary for them to know every single action I take, especially those that may not align with their desires. As the parent, I sometimes have to make decisions that my kids might not appreciate. Here are some of the things I do that they would probably find awful:
1. Tossing Their Crafts in the Recycling Bin
I admit, it feels a bit harsh to discard those colorful drawings and intricate pipe-cleaner creations. Yet, I can’t hold onto every art piece forever. When they eventually grow up and discover the few treasured items I did keep, I doubt they’ll lament the loss of the rest. I just have to be sneaky and wait until they’re out of the house to minimize the chances of being asked, “Mom, why did my masterpiece end up in the recycling?” There’s no good explanation, no matter how logical I think I’m being.
2. Enjoying Snacks After They Go to Sleep
We aim to maintain a healthy diet (even if we don’t always hit the mark), but after a busy day, once the kids are tucked in, my partner and I sometimes indulge in a little ice cream. It’s not that I deny them treats—they definitely have their fair share. I just don’t feel the need to share every indulgence with them. Besides, I don’t make them eat my quinoa bread, so it’s a fair balance, right?
3. Declining Invitations for Them
There are times when I receive an invitation and know right off the bat that we won’t be attending. Sometimes, I simply don’t want to go for various reasons (I have my own schedule too!). Instead of sparking a debate by informing my kids about an event and explaining why we won’t be going, I just say “no” to the invite without dragging them into the conversation.
4. Disappearing Noisy Toys
No one warned me about how relentless those electronic toys could be. I once got a talking doll that simply wouldn’t shut up! So yes, my child may not have seen it for a while, but I refuse to lose my sanity over a toy. If you have little ones, you learn quickly that some toys can be maddening. Unfortunately, well-meaning relatives sometimes gift these noise-makers. It’s my duty to maintain a peaceful environment for my children, which sometimes means hiding such distractions.
5. Grumbling About Their Friends
While the majority of my kids’ friends are delightful—polite, funny, and kind-hearted—there are always a few that push my buttons. Once, I offered a friend a ride, only for them to exclaim, “I’m not getting in that!” Listen, I know all kids are precious, but I think it’s perfectly fine to vent a little about the ones that challenge my patience.
6. Donating Their Favorite Clothes When They’re Not Looking
Kids often struggle to recognize when something no longer fits. I can only negotiate with them so long before I secretly remove those beloved items from their closets. I do give it a grace period, hiding the items away for a few weeks just in case they ask about them. If they don’t notice the disappearance, then it’s off to charity.
While these actions might seem unkind on the surface, I know they are part of the decisions I need to make as a parent. My role is to make choices that benefit our family, and my kids don’t always need to be involved in every decision I make. Sometimes, it’s okay for them to remain oblivious.
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In summary, parenting involves a delicate balance of honesty and discretion. While my kids may not always agree with my choices, it’s my job to ensure our family thrives—sometimes without their knowledge.