Dear Little One,
Today, I shared the exciting news of your existence! With a charming photo of your daddy, mommy, and your giggling big brother, we let everyone in on our little secret—a secret the size of a blueberry. At just seven weeks along, perhaps it’s a tad early to shout it from the rooftops, but we are pregnant! Our second little miracle is on the way.
Some friends expressed concern, saying, “Isn’t it a bit too soon?” They worry because the early stages of your journey can be quite precarious. Statistically, the road ahead has its uncertainties. I could be glowing with joy today, celebrating your budding life, and grieving your loss by tomorrow. The reality of miscarriage is daunting, and that fear looms large.
For weeks, I allowed the fear of losing you to seep into my heart. It muted the joy I should have felt during this cherished pregnancy. I let that anxiety extinguish the excitement I had for you, turning my nights into a vigil against the shadows of doubt. I felt nauseous but dismissed it as “just my imagination.” I had food aversions but told myself it was all in my head. I was terrified to embrace your presence, fearing that might lead to losing you.
There were too many stories of loss surrounding me. Friends and family had navigated the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy, experiencing both joy and heartbreak. It felt safer to guard my heart against hope than to risk enduring that pain.
Soon, fear began to overshadow everything. I stopped dreaming about baby names. I ceased discussing nursery themes. I withdrew from imagining how my older child would embrace his “big brother” role. I let the anxiety in, and it was as if you were fading away from my dreams, my joy, and my plans.
Then one Friday, you revealed your heartbeat to me. Just a few rhythmic thump-thump-thumps, and I was smitten. Yes, it’s early; yes, it’s scary. But the fear no longer matters. You are here, and I want to celebrate every moment of your existence.
Don’t mind our friends—those who worry about us being too hasty. They care for me—and they care for you, too. Their concern is rooted in love.
I’m tired of living in a state of uncertainty. That worry was overshadowing you—dimming the light of my dreams and hopes for us, and that was truly tragic.
So today, I choose to celebrate your life—tomorrow, too, and every day that follows. I want to honor the miracle that is you, for as long as your heart beats within me. Your presence is a deeply cherished gift that was prayed for, and I commit to celebrating this gift for as long as I can.
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Summary
The journey of pregnancy is often accompanied by fears, especially regarding miscarriage. In this heartfelt letter, a mother shares her initial anxieties about her new pregnancy but ultimately chooses to embrace every moment of joy and celebration that comes with the gift of new life.