It was a typical afternoon. After a hectic day at work, I burst through the door, tossed my bag onto the floor, and grinned at my one-year-old daughter, whose chubby legs swung from her high chair. “Mommy’s home!” I cheered, signing “Mommy” by tapping my chin. Her face lit up with a joyful smile, and she clapped her hands as my partner joined her in a little dance that ended with a warm group hug. “I missed you so much,” I whispered, kissing her forehead before heading to the sink to wash and sanitize my hands thoroughly, adding a spritz of Lysol for good measure.
The 60 mL syringes containing her next meal warmed in the sink, while my partner meticulously arranged her G-tube extension next to her evening dose of medicine. Since bringing her home from the NICU after an eight-month stay, where she was diagnosed with chronic lung disease and received both tracheostomy and gastronomy tubes, our lives had revolved around feeding, suctioning, and sterilizing. Yet amidst that whirlwind, there was also snuggling, laughter, and love.
Just then, the doorbell rang, catching me off guard. I exchanged a puzzled glance with my partner. It was the height of RSV (respiratory syncytial virus) season, and we were on strict germ lockdown. Unannounced visitors were not part of our routine. “Oh, I forgot to mention,” he said, moving toward the door, “the garage door company is here to check our locks.” He unlocked the deadbolt, assuring me it would only take a moment.
As the door swung open, two repairmen peered in. I smiled and greeted them, syringes and G-tube extension in hand. My daughter beamed at them, excited by the new faces. I quietly connected the G-tube extension to her Mini button beneath her ribcage and began to gently push her meal through the syringe. As my partner chatted with the repairmen, I sensed the gaze of one of them lingering on us. He was young, nodding along with the conversation yet casting curious glances in our direction.
Looking at my daughter, still smiling and waving, I felt my protective instincts kick in. I could only imagine how our setup appeared to them—a baby with tubes attached to her neck and abdomen, oxygen lines trailing, and an oxygen concentrator hissing softly in the background. Our coffee tables were cluttered with saline bullets and sterile water containers. While all of this was normal for us, I realized how daunting it must seem to outsiders. Singing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” to my daughter while pushing her meal through the feeding tube, I contemplated their potential questions.
- “Micropreemie.”
- “1 pound, 7 ounces.”
- “Severe preeclampsia.”
- “Chronic lung disease.”
- “231 days in the NICU.”
- “Growth takes time.”
As their conversation with my partner shifted from technical to lighthearted banter, I held my breath, hoping to avoid any awkward remarks about our medically fragile child. My daughter turned to me, exhaling through her trach tube, producing a comical squeak as she grinned again.
“Thank you for stopping by,” I heard my partner say as he began to close the door. “Your son…” the younger repairman suddenly interrupted.
Oh no, here it comes. I tensed—Mama Bear mode activated. What’s wrong with him? Why does he have that tube? Is he sick?
“Your son,” he continued, “is the most adorable baby I’ve ever seen.” He paused, and my heart nearly burst. “I just wanted to say that,” he added, looking down with an awkward smile.
I looked at my little girl—eyes sparkling, mouth wide with glee, hands clapping, legs kicking in delight, and let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding through their visit. Yes, I silently agreed. Yes, she is adorable, wonderful, and stronger than anyone in the room.
My partner and I choose to overlook the tubes, wires, and medical supplies surrounding us, focusing instead on our beautiful daughter—a baby just like any other. For a moment, someone outside our world—someone I didn’t expect—recognized that too.
If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out our related blog post here. For more information on artificial insemination kits, see this resource as they are an authority on the subject. Additionally, if you’re curious about the IVF process, this article provides an excellent overview here.
In summary, what may look intimidating to outsiders is simply our daily life filled with love, joy, and resilience. We see our daughter for who she truly is—a remarkable little being.