Dear Theme Day,
You sly little rascal, you always manage to sneak up on me when I least expect it. Despite the crumpled note I find in my child’s folder, tucked between the order forms and the PTO event sign-up sheet, I often forget about you until it’s too late. You announce yourself with excitement: “Wednesday is Hawaiian Beach Day! Thursday is Dress Like a Reading Superhero Day! Monday is Pajamas Day! Friday is Hat, Sunglasses, and an Article of Clothing in a Color You’re Pretty Sure Your Child Doesn’t Own Day!”
I see those announcements and tell myself I’ll be responsible. I think I should really dig out some sunglasses, even if it is the dead of winter. Maybe I should set a reminder for this superhero day; after all, creating a costume will take time. And let’s not forget to ensure that my child’s only pair of pajamas that fits and doesn’t look like it was chewed on by something unspeakable is clean.
But here’s the truth, Theme Day: I have a job, a family, friends, and a life that doesn’t revolve around your peculiar requests. Honestly, I’m just not that into you.
Then, out of nowhere, just when I think I’m in the clear, my son looks up from his breakfast and asks, “What should I wear for my superhero costume today, Mom? It has to relate to our reading!” And there you are, laughing in my kitchen, as my husband suggests a simple superhero t-shirt. Meanwhile, I’m off to the basement, sweating, as my son frets over his costume being “lame.” I find myself insisting, “No, it’s not lame! It’ll be unique! Creative!”
Next thing I know, I’m cutting uneven eyeholes in a bandana for a mask, safety-pinning felt to anything I can find, and frantically searching for something that could possibly serve as a cape (a sequined shawl? Sure, why not!). My son and I are both on the brink of tears as we scramble for ideas. “What about gloves? Or this stuffed snake around my neck?” he asks.
“Yes!” I respond, “That’s perfect!” But we both know it’s not. You and I both understand that the costume’s imperfections reflect on my skills as a parent—and somehow, that feels like a reflection of my worth as a person. You revel in that, don’t you, you sneaky little monster?
When we spent a year abroad, I thought I’d left you behind, only to find you waiting for me with “Dress Up Like a Character From Your Favorite Fairy Tale Day.” Really, Theme Day? Couldn’t you let us be for just one year?
And let’s not even talk about the “wolf costume” I threw together, which consisted of a stained grey shirt and a brown scarf tied to a belt loop for a tail. That was not my finest moment, and I’m pretty sure you enjoyed watching me squirm on that international stage.
I know the kids adore you. My son looks forward to your arrival, breaking up the monotony of the school day filled with worksheets and tests. Perhaps we wouldn’t need you if education were less about discipline and more about creativity.
So, even though I may not like you, I still find myself in a frenzy, trying to make last-minute adjustments when you show up, even if it’s just 10 minutes before the bus arrives. Somehow, I manage to send my child off, beaming in his patchwork superhero outfit that’s “good enough,” even if the eyeholes in his mask are askew.
And this is the part where I’m supposed to look into his grateful eyes and say it’s all worth it, that I’ll treat you with the respect you deserve next time you come around.
But instead, I’ll say this for all frazzled parents: Eat dirt, Theme Day. EAT. DIRT.
In the end, we all know that navigating parenting is a challenge, but there are many resources available to help along the way. For those considering home insemination, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at Hopkins Medicine. And for those looking for the right tools, take a look at Make a Mom for their fantastic kits. And don’t forget to review our terms and conditions to stay informed.
Summary
Theme Days at school can be a source of stress for parents, as they often require creative costumes and last-minute scrambling. Despite the fun these days bring to children, they can lead to feelings of inadequacy among parents. Nonetheless, resources are available to support families navigating both the whimsical world of school events and the serious business of family planning.