When I found out I was pregnant with my third child and it was yet another boy, I felt a mix of joy and disbelief. Despite the initial shock, I quickly embraced the idea of raising three wonderful boys. It’s a privilege to help shape them into good men, especially in a world that needs more positive role models. However, when I share my exciting news, I often encounter comments that can be quite disheartening. Here’s a rundown of things that should be avoided when talking to a mom expecting another boy.
- “I hope it’s a girl!”
It’s astonishing how often I hear this, even after announcing I’m having another boy. Some people respond with pity in their eyes, questioning if I’m certain about the gender. Yes, I am, thank you very much. - “Were you trying for a girl?”
I faced this one recently while dining out. A woman casually asked me about our family planning as if she were inquiring about my meal choice. It’s such an invasive question, and it left me feeling embarrassed and exposed. - “Were you disappointed when you found out it wasn’t a girl?”
This question could easily bring anyone to tears. It’s clear that the person asking thinks I should feel let down. After already being blessed with two healthy boys, why would I be disappointed? - “At least you won’t have to…”
Insert any positive spin here, like buying new clothes or dealing with teenage drama. This approach is misguided; any good news shouldn’t start with “at least.” - “Your husband must be SO excited.”
While it’s common to assume dads want boys and moms want girls, this stereotype overlooks the fact that I’m equally thrilled with my boys. I love them just as much, regardless of gender. - “Will you be trying again for a girl?”
Can we please stop with the pressure? It’s unnecessary and intrusive. - “When I found out I was having a boy, I cried.”
I encountered this comment from a stranger in a restroom. I had hoped for empathy, but instead, I got a story about someone else’s disappointment. It felt completely out of place at that moment. - “They say after three kids of the same gender, your body resets to have the opposite gender.”
This unfounded belief was shared by the ultrasound technician just moments after revealing my baby’s gender. Who said I wanted a girl? My smile was not an indication of disappointment. - “You’re losing your femininity.”
Really? Am I now a pregnant man? This stereotype is outdated and frankly ridiculous. Being a mom of boys doesn’t change my identity or make me less feminine. - “Better luck next time!”
This comment leaves me speechless. How can anyone think this is an appropriate thing to say?
To be fair, most of the individuals who make these remarks don’t mean any harm. Many simply lack the experience or sensitivity to understand how it feels to be treated like a baby-producing machine. While I try to approach these comments with a light heart and remember that they mean well, sometimes it’s just too much to bear.
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In conclusion, it’s essential to support each other and celebrate all families, regardless of gender dynamics. Let’s create a more positive dialogue around parenthood!