Life has gifted me two wonderful daughters, one of whom is just over a month old. They truly light up my world, and I cherish them more than anything else. They are the best achievements of my life.
However, as I sit here at 2 a.m., desperately trying to soothe my crying baby back to sleep, I realize that this has become my new reality. In these quiet, early hours, while everyone else is asleep, I reflect on the challenges of parenting. It’s a far cry from the blissful images you might see on my social media.
Parenting can appear deceptively simple, but the truth is that navigating life with two young kids while both my partner and I work is anything but easy. I often catch myself wishing I could meet some unrealistic standard of perfection, forgetting that no one is flawless, even if they seem to be.
So, let me share a few truths:
When you see me looking polished at an event…
My newborn woke up midway through my shower, and I spent the rest of the time listening to her wails. That shower was the least enjoyable experience of my life. I barely managed to apply makeup for five minutes to mask how exhausted I truly feel. Let’s just say there were tears shed.
When you inquire about how I manage to work with a newborn and a toddler at home…
I want you to know that there are days I wish I could just hit pause on everything else. Right now, the pressure is immense, and I sometimes feel guilty for not being the superwoman who juggles it all with grace.
When you ask if my newborn is a ‘good baby’…
I sometimes want to respond with a blunt “no.” Babies are just that—babies! In my sleep-deprived haze, I often confuse her neediness with being “difficult.” I remind myself that it’s impossible for her to be anything but a baby.
When you ask if my toddler loves her new baby sister…
Yes, she adores her! But it’s me she seems to be less fond of lately. My partner has taken on the majority of school runs and activities while I recover from my C-section, and I can’t help but worry if she’ll feel let down when I return to my previous responsibilities.
When you wonder how I manage everything…
I really want to tell you that I don’t manage at all! My house is a chaotic mess, and I haven’t set foot in a grocery store in over a month (thank you, grocery delivery services!). I’ve missed meetings and photoshoots, and my inbox is overflowing. My hair? Well, it’s a lost cause that even a whole bottle of dry shampoo can’t save.
When you ask how breastfeeding is going, and I say it’s ‘great!’…
In reality, I had no idea how life-changing breastfeeding would be. I wasn’t able to do it with my first child, and while I’m thrilled it’s working now, I’m also tethered to my baby. Leaving the house for more than two hours is a challenge, and I find myself up every couple of hours for feedings or pumping. The sleep deprivation is real, and some days I just want to throw in the towel.
These are my truths. Would I change any of them? Absolutely not. Life is beautifully messy and raw, and if we wished those imperfections away, we’d only be left with an unattainable standard of perfection.
In the light of day, I remind myself once again that I’m not interested in perfection.
If you’re navigating your own parenting journey, you might find useful insights in our blog posts, such as this one on intracervical insemination. And for more information on fertility, check out this resource. Additionally, if you’re looking for information on IVF, this site offers excellent resources.
Summary:
Navigating life with a newborn and a toddler can be overwhelmingly challenging, filled with moments that aren’t often shared. From sleepless nights and missed commitments to the reality of breastfeeding, it’s a journey of beautiful chaos. Embracing the messiness of parenting can lead to a more fulfilling experience, reminding us that perfection isn’t the goal.