“A dad’s gotta do what a dad’s gotta do.” This phrase wrapped up a humorous advertisement that debuted during the Super Bowl, featuring a father trailing his daughter on a date—appearing at the cinema, the fair, and even dangling from a helicopter to intimidate her date—all in the name of “protection.”
Starring the talented Chris Evans, the ad is amusing, yet the concept it portrays is as outdated as it gets. The overprotective father trope is prevalent in sitcoms, running gags (“Have a son, worry about one boy; have a daughter, worry about them all”), memes on social media (remember that viral image of a dad inserting himself into his daughter’s prom photos?), and various television commercials like the one featuring Evans.
While many stereotypes have a kernel of truth, this one has crossed the line from being funny to being archaic, and from innocent to potentially harmful.
My concerns about this old joke are twofold. First, as a mom to boys, it pains me to think that no matter how respectful and kind my sons may be, some people might assume they harbor bad intentions. There may be individuals who think my sons could be hurtful or manipulative. It frustrates me that boys, who will likely navigate their own challenging teenage emotions, are often perceived as unable to manage those feelings. Our boys deserve better.
Second, the stereotype suggests that our daughters—young women—are incapable of looking after themselves and that they need a man to safeguard them. This assumption is not just hurtful; it’s damaging. For far too long, women have been socialized, both overtly and subtly, to play coy. This diminishes their autonomy and sexuality, reinforcing dangerous messages about identity, control, and personal boundaries. Young women are entirely capable of making their own decisions; a “no” means no, and a “yes” means yes—end of discussion.
As a mother to boys, I may never fully grasp the experience of raising a teenage girl, but I do remember being one. My parents were strict in many ways, yet one of the best gifts my father gave me was his hands-off approach to my dating life. Did he love all my boyfriends? Not at all. Some he outright disliked. However, he never forbade me from dating or inserted himself to “save” me.
Our discussions about boys and dating always centered on me and my ability to navigate those situations. Was this person right for me? Was he encouraging my best self? My father never doubted my capability to take care of myself.
Through his lack of control and somewhat indifferent attitude towards my relationships, I felt empowered and trusted to make my own choices, confident in my ability to look after myself. Did I make poor choices and date the wrong guys? Absolutely! But isn’t that part of growing up? When I eventually met my husband, I was sure of my choice—not because my dad would approve, but because I did.
Instead of promoting the overprotective father trope, we should focus on encouraging respectful young men and empowering independent young women. Isn’t that what we want for our kids? Isn’t that already who they are?
For more insights into parenting and family dynamics, check out our other blog posts, including this one on the importance of respectful relationships.
In conclusion, it’s essential to challenge outdated stereotypes and foster an environment where both boys and girls are seen as capable individuals, ready to make their own choices.