In today’s world, the topic of breastfeeding in public generates a wide range of opinions. People generally tend to fall into three camps: 1) Only breastfeed behind closed doors; 2) Breastfeed in public but cover up; and 3) Breastfeed anywhere, anytime. I find myself identifying with the third group when it comes to societal beliefs, yet as a breastfeeding mother, I often act in alignment with the first group’s preference.
Am I embarrassed? No. My primary aim is to nourish my child, and honestly, I prefer to keep my breasts covered, just as many others do. After years of feeling the need to keep them hidden, it feels strange to expose them in public. I want my experience to be comfortable, not met with stares or judgment. I’ve already endured enough body-shaming during my teenage years; I certainly don’t want to relive that as an adult.
While volunteering at my older daughter’s school fundraiser, I often took breaks to feed my baby son in the car. I felt more at ease nursing him away from my daughter’s friends and their parents, not due to any negative reactions from them, but simply because it was more comfortable for me.
I believe that breastfeeding in public inevitably attracts attention, and I’m not interested in becoming the subject of others’ scrutiny. In public spaces, my breasts feel like an elephant in the room. I prefer to nurse around those I trust, knowing they won’t judge me. Would I like to live in a more accepting society? Absolutely, but I’m not ready to be the activist challenging societal norms about when and where a woman can nurse.
My focus is on the special bond I share with my child. Infancy is a fleeting phase, and breastfeeding is a unique connection between us. If someone can’t witness this intimate moment without feeling uncomfortable, I’d rather keep it private. It’s also impractical to expect a cover to stay in place when a baby is actively trying to pull it off. I sometimes joke about creating a “breast coozy,” similar to the ones used for drinks, to keep things a little warmer, but I doubt it would satisfy the expectations of onlookers.
I hear the activists urging me not to hide or let judgment dictate my actions. They argue that change comes when moms normalize breastfeeding in public. Part of me wants to be that change-maker, but then I find myself feeding my baby before going out to dinner with my family.
At the restaurant, I notice my baby getting restless, signaling his need to nurse. My eyes scan the room, anticipating who might stare or judge me for feeding in public. I’ve seen the videos of women being confronted, and I begin to wish for a more secluded booth. After retrieving my nursing pillow from the car, I find that my baby has dozed off, and I let out a sigh of relief.
Do I think our society has over-sexualized breasts? It’s a complicated issue. Yes, my breasts are sexual organs, but they serve the purpose of nourishing my child as well. It raises the question: which is more natural—the need to feed a baby or the admiration of a woman’s breasts? Can we not accept that in the context of breastfeeding, breasts serve a different role?
One of my favorite sculptures is at the shrine of Our Lady of La Leche in St. Augustine, Florida, depicting the Virgin Mary breastfeeding baby Jesus. If she represents purity and innocence, why is breastfeeding still viewed as inappropriate by some? What is it about public breastfeeding that offends people? Perhaps it’s the contrast between the image of an infant nursing and the societal views on the sensuality of breasts.
When I see another mother breastfeeding in public, I feel a sense of admiration. I want to approach her and express my gratitude for her comfort in that moment. I often support breastfeeding images online, yet I share my own breastfeeding selfies selectively with close friends.
I am the mom who seeks out dressing rooms or retreats to my car for a calm, quiet space to feed my baby. Until societal attitudes shift, I’m not ready to make my nursing sessions a battleground for acceptance. I appreciate those who are willing to take that stand.
In summary, I am a mom who prefers the privacy of my car while breastfeeding, navigating the complexities of societal views on public nursing. I cherish the bond I have with my baby during this special time, while also recognizing the challenges and discomfort that come with breastfeeding in a judgmental world.