My spouse and I are among those uncommon couples who find common ground on numerous matters. We seldom quibble over who controls the remote, we present a united front when it comes to parenting, and we both agree that “Ishtar” holds the title for the worst film ever. We cherish summer evenings by the fire pit, firmly believe fall is the ultimate season, and both delight in the aroma of a Sunday dinner simmering in the crockpot.
We share inside jokes, share laughter frequently, and appreciate each other’s contributions to our busy lives. Our relationship thrives on compromise, mutual respect, and a shared love for dark chocolate. That is, until we dive into political discussions.
When I first met my husband two decades ago, my liberal disposition viewed his conservative beliefs as a challenge—an opportunity to sway him to my side of the aisle. Of course, during the early stages of dating, we tended to avoid heavy topics like politics and religion, focusing instead on romance. However, as the years rolled on, our differing viewpoints became increasingly evident. We clashed on every political issue, from wages to abortion, immigration, and healthcare. Our discussions morphed into a dance around a delicate elephant in the room, with neither of us emerging victorious and both of us occasionally looking foolish.
It was no coincidence that at our wedding, my family sat on the left side of the church while his family occupied the right. Talk about needing to reach across the aisle!
Election seasons at our home resemble a circus. Our children sit as if they’re viewers at a tennis match, watching us volley our political opinions across the dinner table. I passionately advocate for “my candidates,” and he rolls his eyes when I can’t stop talking about my favorite politicians. In 2004, our front yard boldly displayed both Kerry/Edwards and Bush/Cheney signs, leading neighbors to chuckle as we playfully sabotaged each other’s displays. “Oops, sorry, love! I guess the wind took that Bush sign away,” I’d say with a grin, while he gave me an exasperated look.
The 2008 McCain/Obama race brought our debates to new heights. I even dressed our daughter in a pink Hillary shirt during the primaries and shared a photo with my husband as she pulled the lever for a woman for the first time. When Obama won, I couldn’t help but relish my “I told you so” moment. Winning felt exhilarating, and I was more than happy to bask in my liberal triumph.
Despite our political differences and fervent debates, I wouldn’t trade being married to a conservative for anything. My husband is one of the most intelligent individuals I know, and engaging with him politically keeps me sharp and informed. There’s nothing quite like a spirited debate that ends with him raising an eyebrow in admiration. I hold my own in these discussions, and he’s certainly met his match.
Interestingly, our political arguments have fostered compromise in other areas of our marriage. By respectfully listening to one another, we’ve cultivated a mutual admiration for each other’s insights. I appreciate that my husband has carefully considered his beliefs, even if they differ from mine. We might be politically mismatched, but it works beautifully for us.
This election season has been particularly revealing. My frustration with the Republican Party has reached new heights, and my husband can barely endure watching debates alongside me anymore. Our dinner table debates are lively, and our kids are gaining insights from both perspectives, learning to form informed opinions about the electoral process as we keep score on our chosen candidates.
Recently, I asked my husband whom he was voting for, and he smirked, replying, “Not sure yet, but definitely not Trump.” There’s a sliver of hope for him yet!
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In summary, while my husband and I may be politically worlds apart, our relationship thrives on respect, compromise, and a deep bond, proving that love can indeed conquer even the most polarizing differences.