Dear Restoration Hardware,
As a prominent player in the consumer goods market, I trust that you appreciate insights from your customers. I recently perused your latest baby & child catalog, and I must say, it is nothing short of breathtaking—exquisitely chic and undeniably luxurious. Weighing in at roughly the same as a full-term newborn, the catalog is quite the hefty tome!
As I leafed through each lavish page, which makes my holiday card stock feel like sandpaper, I found myself with a few pressing questions.
Pricing Concerns
First off, I can’t help but wonder about your team’s approach to pricing. Are your marketing folks indulging a bit too much? After reviewing your price tags, I felt the need to schedule an optometry appointment, as it seems the numbers might be a touch blurry.
Focus Groups
Where do you hold your focus groups? Is it in a lavish Beverly Hills mansion, perhaps, or maybe on the set of a reality TV show? Regardless, I find it hard to look away—it’s like a train wreck, but a very stylish one made of custom silks.
Appeal to New Parents
While I’m out of the nursery phase, your offerings are undeniably appealing to new parents seeking fresh inspiration. I was particularly intrigued by your “Royal Infant, Salute to Will and Kate” theme. A couple of questions arise:
- Do you realize that a crib priced higher than my first Manhattan apartment rent might raise eyebrows?
- If my child’s butler is unavailable when my order arrives, will you assist with assembly? Or is that a premium service?
- Isn’t it essential to have a clothing line that matches such luxury? Can a child in a Target onesie really coexist in such a regal environment?
And about that gorgeous lead crystal lamp within toddler reach—let’s just say, I hope it’s toddler-proof!
Lighting Section
Moving on to your lighting section—what a delightful array! I must admit, I was concerned about finding the right lighting for my kids to identify their Goldfish snacks. Crystal chandeliers are a must for tea parties, after all. Though, before proceeding with my order, I have to ask:
- Can I hold these fixtures while I chat with my insurance agent about enhancing our liability coverage?
- How does the little girl in your photos cope with the absence of furniture? Is she aware her parents opted for lighting over seating? I can’t help but wonder if those padded walls are a precaution.
Comfort and Style
I must thank you for addressing a crucial concern: how can I ensure my kids relax in style? Your Vintage Cigar Leather Sofa is a game-changer. Without it, my little ones might have to resort to sitting on the floor after a long day of play.
And then there’s the Orbit Spitfire Chair—perfect for time-outs. Your commitment to quality is evident, and I’m sure my child will appreciate the base-level upholstery as a reminder that I mean business.
Final Thoughts
After exploring your catalog, I feel enlightened—not just about decor, but also about home equity loans. I look forward to seasonal releases to keep my decor aspirations fresh. Congratulations on making Pottery Barn Kids seem affordable; that’s no small feat.
If you ever decide to create strollers that outshine my 2010 vehicle, please do add me to your mailing list—I must be the first to know! For more insights, check out this informative piece on home insemination.
In conclusion, your catalog has been an eye-opener, showcasing extravagance in a way I never expected. Thank you for your time and attention; I hope my musings provide some useful feedback.
Summary
This open letter to Restoration Hardware Baby & Child humorously critiques their luxurious catalog while posing thoughtful questions about pricing and product offerings. The author reflects on the extravagant nature of the items and how they fit into the lives of everyday parents, concluding with a desire for more seasonal updates and product innovations.