Parenting
I dropped my 8-year-old off at school today, and the last thing I noticed was a small hole in the middle of her shirt and a wild mess of hair that looked like it had been through a tornado. Our recent battle with an uninvited pest—head lice—put a halt to our hair grooming routine, so hairbrushes have been off-limits.
A few weeks back, lice spread through our school like wildfire, gleefully attaching themselves to any girl with long hair, much to the dismay of every mother. After a rather intense de-licing session, I still hadn’t made it to the store for new brushes. So, yes, it’s safe to say our household currently resembles a tangle of hair. But we make do, right?
Next, I dropped my 5-year-old off at her preschool, where she sported wilting magenta and teal feathers in her hair—her own creation—secured with a pipe cleaner. Just then, I heard another mom excitedly announce, “It’s picture day today! We’re so thrilled!” Admittedly, I was somewhat aware it was picture day, but only in a vague, distracted way. That mom had her child looking polished in a lovely outfit, complete with a curly ponytail and a matching bow (seriously, where do you even find those?). Meanwhile, I had one kid already in class with a torn shirt and another with feathers in her hair and dried chocolate milk smudged on her cheek. This is what my parenting journey looks like: a series of little mishaps and unbrushed hair.
I found this piece in my writing files, started five years ago. My girls have grown past the tangled hair stage (thank goodness), we haven’t had lice since then (praise be!), and I remain an imperfect mom (yes, unmatched socks still abound). My oldest, now 12, had a meltdown last night, worrying about moving out one day.
In that moment, I realized I had a prime opportunity to comfort her and discuss the truth: most likely, she’d be eager to leave our nest in a few years. I kept reminding myself of this while also wishing for a moment of silence to scroll on my phone. Instead of seizing the moment to connect and reassure her about the future, I found myself repeatedly saying, “It’s OK, sweetheart, everything will be fine. Now, please brush your teeth and get ready for bed.” (Basically, I just wanted five minutes of peace!).
I missed that opportunity, much like I missed the mark on picture day. I see moms on social media who seem to have it all together—taking their five kids to the park while simultaneously writing blog posts. Other moms at school seem to have the energy to organize enriching activities like after-school clubs. And then there’s me, getting letters from school about tardiness and pushing my daughter off my lap because her elbows are too sharp and her wet hair is too cold.
I admire those moms, even feel a twinge of envy. But are those the things that truly matter? Do I need to adhere to some unrealistic standards every week? Should I be available for deep conversations and cuddles all the time? I once thought so, believing that well-groomed hair and wise advice would somehow shield my children from life’s challenges.
I’ve changed my perspective. As my children grow, it’s become clear that a little imperfection in our home life actually helps them cope with disappointments outside. This journey is a learning experience for all of us. I’m embracing my flaws, and they’re learning to take care of themselves. So when they eventually embark on their own, mismatched socks and all, they’ll be just fine.
Looking for more insights? Check out this blog post on home insemination and learn more about the journey of parenthood. Also, if you need information on artificial insemination, Make A Mom provides valuable resources on the subject. For those interested in pregnancy, the NICHD is an excellent resource.
Summary:
This piece reflects on the realities of parenting and the importance of embracing imperfection. From managing messy hair to handling emotional moments, the author shares how these experiences can foster resilience in children. Ultimately, the journey of motherhood is about learning and growing together, imperfections and all.