My 10-year-old son, Alex, is an enthusiastic gamer and tech whiz, spending countless hours immersed in his digital adventures. He enjoys explaining the intricacies of his favorite video games to me, and I do my best to engage with him, even if I don’t always grasp the latest trends. Recently, he’s taken a keen interest in designing his own games and is even enrolled in a coding class at school, which is exciting to see!
Like many parents, I find it challenging to establish healthy screen time boundaries. There’s a wealth of educational content available online, but I also worry about the adverse effects of too much screen time. Thus, I try to strike a balance by creating limits, although it’s not always smooth sailing. As I prepare for the inevitable entry into social media, I’m taking proactive steps to equip him for this new realm. Here’s what I’m doing:
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Keeping Media Use Public
For now, all of Alex’s gaming and online activities are conducted in the family room. This setup allows me to stay informed about what he’s engaging with. While most of his online interactions are harmless, some videos do contain language or themes I find unsuitable. Being nearby lets us address these issues as they arise in an open, conversational manner. -
Joining Him in His Online Adventures
Although I’m not a gamer myself, I make an effort to participate when Alex invites me into his gaming world. Whether it’s attempting a level in his favorite game or exploring his Minecraft creations, I want him to feel that his online activities are something to share. This participation also provides me with insights into the social aspects of his gaming, including appropriate behavior in chat functions. -
Modeling Responsible Social Media Use
As a frequent user of social media, I share my experiences with Alex. I talk to him about the positive connections I make and the unfortunate negativity I sometimes encounter. A crucial guideline I emphasize is that if it’s not something you’d say face-to-face, then it shouldn’t be said online. He often reminds me if I’m glued to my phone, and we discuss the importance of valuing real-life interactions over online ones. -
Introducing Controlled Social Media Experiences
Even at his young age, I allow Alex to have a very limited taste of online interactions. He has a family-only email account and can send texts through his iPad, both of which I monitor closely (I even have access to his email password!). These small steps provide us with tangible opportunities to discuss online manners and communication. -
Establishing Daily One-on-One Time
Perhaps the most crucial aspect of preparing for social media is ensuring we maintain a strong line of communication. I prioritize quality time with Alex every day, often just before bedtime when he tends to open up about his thoughts and worries. This routine fosters trust and encourages him to confide in me about any challenges he may face in the digital world.
As we look ahead to the teenage years, I realize that many challenges lie ahead, especially in navigating the complex landscape of social media. However, by nurturing an environment of openness and trust, I believe we can better tackle any hurdles that may come our way.
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Summary
In preparing my tween for the social media landscape, I keep his media use public, engage with him in his online interests, model responsible behavior, allow limited social media experiences, and ensure we carve out time for meaningful conversations. This approach lays the groundwork for open communication and trust as he navigates the complexities of the digital world.