April 16, 2023
Every mom has a few internal voices, and let me tell you, one of them can be particularly harsh. I’m talking about that little critic that wonders if my little ones have lost their minds or concocts ridiculous punishments, like tossing a beloved toy (which, of course, I could never do). My inner voice has a favorite phrase: “Calm down already!” With a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old, and an almost 1-year-old, I find myself using it quite often. Toddlers are like hypercharged balls of energy bouncing around the house. While enthusiasm is fantastic, it can sometimes lead to overwhelming emotions that spiral out of control. I often find myself screaming “CTFD” in my head multiple times throughout the day.
Can I get some peace now? What about now? It’s bright outside. Isn’t it time to start prepping for that exciting outing we have planned? No, I’ve been up all night with the baby, and it’s barely dawn. That fun event isn’t until after lunch. Please, kids, CTFD and go back to sleep.
Two of them dash toward me, words spilling out in a blur. Each is trying to share their side of the story, raising their voices to outdo one another. They don’t seem to take a breath as their pace accelerates, and the resulting noise feels like a swarm of bees buzzing in my brain. I can’t help but mentally chant “CTFD, CTFD, CTFD.”
He’s immersed in Legos, and she’s busy with her Barbie. They’re supposed to be having a blast, but when the pieces won’t fit, and she can’t locate a matching shoe, catastrophe strikes. Suddenly, playtime transforms into a scene of utter chaos. There are folded arms, stomping feet, tears, and toys flying around the room. I know you’re upset, but if you could just CTFD for a moment, these problems could be solved easily.
You’ve misbehaved. Time for a little punishment. It’s merely a three-minute timeout in your room. Is it necessary to howl like a banshee? Your face is turning blotchy, and tears are streaming down. Now you’re ripping off your clothes. Really, three minutes, CTFD already!
They’re just mashed potatoes, not some inedible sludge. You adore French fries, even the thick steak-cut ones. Are you truly pretending to gag on your food? Now you’re making sounds like you might throw up, and crying. That’s way more drama than I can handle at the dinner table. Please, CTFD and eat.
Grocery shopping was going smoothly until one little “no” changed everything. I can feel my cheeks heat up as onlookers notice your escalating wails. Panic hits me as I brace for the inevitable tantrum, complete with you throwing yourself down on the filthy floor. My inner voice is pleading for you to CTFD, please.
Yes, I even apply this with the baby. It’s 3:30 a.m., and he’s crying again. I watch the minutes tick away, dreading the alarm. He’s arching his back and yelling. The other two will surely wake up soon. He’s been fed, burped, and changed. There are no new teeth coming through. He’s not sick. My body and mind are battling fatigue. Sweetheart, you’re adorable, but it’s really time to CTFD.
Fortunately, I’ve managed to keep these thoughts to myself. Instead, I take a deep breath before tackling the situation. Maybe this phrase isn’t aimed at my children at all; perhaps it’s a reminder for me to CTFD because this too shall pass. Kids have emotions that flip like a light switch. I just need to stay calm, give them a moment, and soon enough, they’ll be smiling again—at least until the next round starts.
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Summary:
This piece humorously explores the chaotic world of parenting toddlers, capturing the wild emotions and energetic antics of young children. The author shares relatable experiences, showcasing the challenges of maintaining calm amid the storm of tantrums, sibling rivalries, and nighttime wake-ups. Through a lighthearted lens, the narrative reflects on the importance of patience and self-encouragement while navigating the ups and downs of toddler life.
