I like to think of myself as a decent mom. I hesitate to label myself as “great” because, like everyone else, I have my off days when I can’t be as engaged or cheerful as I wish. However, when I compare myself to my partner, it’s clear that he truly shines as a parent.
My partner never resorts to turning on the television as a way to keep our little one occupied; instead, he consistently interacts with her through toys and books. He prepares her nutritious meals rather than allowing her to fill up on milk and applesauce alone.
When it comes to bedtime, he never rushes through the routine. He takes the time to read her stories and play her favorite games until she’s settled and ready for sleep. During playtime, he focuses entirely on her, never distracted by his phone, fully present in the moment.
My partner is always up for a trip to the park, never too tired to push her on the swing for as long as she desires. He never opts for fast food for convenience; instead, he brings home wholesome meals that nourish her, unlike the greasy burger I might have grabbed in a pinch.
When we’re out walking the dog, he patiently allows our toddler to walk at her own pace, even if it means taking an hour to reach our destination. He embodies the type of parent I strive to be—the kind I imagined being when I was pregnant. He’s the person I promise myself I will grow into each day.
Yet, the reality is that I often fall short of that ideal. I am the primary caregiver, spending the majority of the day with our child while he gets to enjoy the highlights of evenings and weekends. I manage the daily routines: getting dressed, filling hours before nap time, and preparing meals. I also handle the chaos of tantrums and challenging playdates filled with whining and fussing.
This isn’t to diminish my partner’s contributions; our daughter is incredibly fortunate to have him in her life. He is loving, patient, and everything I hoped he would be as a father.
Instead, I want to remind myself not to set unrealistic standards. It’s crucial not to compare my parenting style to his, as we are fundamentally different people in different roles. He brings energy, motivation, and enthusiasm, while I sometimes struggle with fatigue and self-doubt. I grant myself some grace, even if it might be a little too much at times.
I am a good mom, and he is a great dad. Together, we provide our daughter with a balanced upbringing. She receives consistency, love, and valuable discussions about feelings from me, while he fills her life with adventure, laughter, and strong moral values.
Our parenting styles don’t need to mirror one another. What works for me may not align with what works for him. Instead of feeling envious of his patience and dedication, I’ll appreciate the joy of co-parenting with such a remarkable individual. I’ll cherish the moments she shares with him and aim to cultivate a bit more patience each day.
I won’t be hard on myself when she and I snuggle up for another episode of her favorite show. After all, we all deserve a little downtime—and so does she.
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In summary, while I may not be the parent I aspire to be every day, I embrace my journey and appreciate my partner for the amazing dad he is. Together, we make a wonderful team for our daughter.