By Jenna Hartley
It was clear from the moment I picked up my daughter, Lily, from preschool that something was amiss. The cheerful, lively little girl who usually bounds towards me had turned into a quiet, withdrawn figure. Instead of her usual excited run to the car, she walked beside me, her small frame seeming heavier with unspoken thoughts.
Once we settled in the car and buckled up, I casually asked how her day was. “Fine,” she responded with a tone that suggested otherwise. After a few moments of silence, her small voice broke through, filled with sadness and confusion. “Mommy, am I pretty?”
“Of course, sweetheart! You’re beautiful inside and out. Why do you ask?” I replied, hoping to reassure her.
“Because,” she hesitated, “Ethan said he wouldn’t play with me because I’m not pretty enough.”
In that moment, my heart shattered—not because of the boy’s superficial comment, but because, at just 4 ½ years old, Lily was already questioning her self-worth based on someone else’s words. This was not an isolated incident; it seemed Ethan had been teasing her for some time, and until now, she had kept it all bottled up.
I understand that children can be unkind, often without realizing the impact of their words. At this age, they are like sponges, absorbing everything from their surroundings and sometimes expressing it in hurtful ways. However, I also recognize that some kids can be downright mean. Whether it’s due to a lack of guidance from their parents or other influences, the reality is that there are children who choose to hurt others.
Despite my understanding, I felt a surge of anger. It frustrated me that a 4-year-old had adopted such a hurtful mindset—clearly learned from someone—without facing any correction. It upset me that my daughter had to endure these unkind remarks. At her age, she should be free to explore and play without concerns about her appearance or self-worth.
I mostly felt guilty for not preparing her to handle situations like this. After all, they’re just kids! It’s disheartening to think that this is a reality for children today. The prevalence of such attitudes contributes to the body image issues many women face as they grow older. This is a reflection of the fundamental lack of respect and kindness that seems to permeate our society.
To Ethan, I want to say: Your hurtful comments are unacceptable. Even at 4, you should know better. I could direct my anger towards your parents for not teaching you to be kinder, but I find it difficult. I pity you because you’re missing out on recognizing the wonderful person Lily is—someone with a big heart and a generous spirit. Despite the negativity, she still talks about you fondly, calling you a friend, and that’s a testament to her character.
And Lily, my dear girl, I want you to know: You are uniquely beautiful. God made you in His image, and that means you shine from the inside out. Embrace love and forgiveness for those who tease you; they are often struggling themselves. Remember, you don’t have to seek validation from others. Live your life to inspire and uplift those around you. Every day is an opportunity to make a positive impact, so let your presence be felt in a good way.
If I could shield you from all the negativity in the world, I would take on every ounce of pain for you. Unfortunately, much of it will come from others, but don’t let their words define you. You hold the power to shape your own future.
In conclusion, it’s vital to foster resilience in our children so they can navigate challenges with confidence. For more insights on navigating parenting during tough times, check out some of our other blogs, such as this one that discusses similar experiences. If you’re interested in understanding more about home insemination, this resource is an excellent authority on the topic, as well as this informative article that discusses pregnancy and home insemination.