It all starts off so pleasantly. “Congratulations on your pregnancy! How wonderful!” I beam, caught in that mix of joy and persistent nausea that seems to be my new normal. The chit-chat flows easily—questions about the baby’s gender, the due date, and whether we’ve settled on a name. But then, the conversation takes a sharp turn into a topic I find less than delightful: “How do you plan to deliver your baby?” or the often-asked, “Do you have a birth plan?”
Anyone who has experienced childbirth knows these questions are somewhat ridiculous. Birth rarely goes as planned, and I usually brush off such inquiries from those who have never been through it themselves. But it’s the parents who have given birth that can be trickier. Many seem to have their own agendas, particularly those who have had natural births.
For some reason, it seems that a handful of women feel compelled to promote the idea of natural childbirth, often sharing their experiences with zeal. I can’t help but wonder—what’s the real motivation behind this push? Am I missing out on some new trend, where I’ll soon receive an invite to buy essential oils or relaxation CDs?
Honestly, I’m tired of the relentless questions about my delivery plans. First of all, why do you need a visual of how this is going to unfold? Secondly, I’m not here to give you the answer you’re hoping for. You might be looking for tales of my Lamaze classes or my Kegel exercises, but the truth is, I want an epidural. And when I share this, the atmosphere shifts—your expression morphs into a blend of surprise, concern, and judgment.
“Oh, I see,” you say, dripping with condescension. “Have you thought about natural options?” And then you hit me with, “You know, your body was designed for this. You should embrace it.”
Let’s pause right there. That’s crossing a line. If that’s your primary argument, feel free to take a seat in my kid’s time-out chair and have a chat with the wall. My body is built for many things—burping, enduring menopause, and eventually, death. Should I warmly embrace those too?
You continue, “Women have been giving birth since the dawn of time. Anesthesia has only been around for a little while.” Have you met my great-aunt Sue? I’m pretty sure my fierce, “I don’t take nonsense from anyone” great-aunt would have jumped at the chance for an epidural instead of enduring labor pain without it. Back to the time-out chair, please!
The only way I’d have a natural birth is if I miss the hospital in time, if the anesthesiologist calls in sick, or if my partner decides to restrain me to the bed while shouting, “No pain relief for you!” It’s possible, sure. Birth can be unpredictable, and labor can make people act a bit irrationally.
But let’s be honest: this is the baby’s big day, and I’m just an (important) guest.
I have immense respect for those who choose to go through labor naturally. I really do. I’ve experienced childbirth once, and the pain was so overwhelming I found myself pleading, “I want to die. Just kill me.” Seriously, it was intense. I needed that epidural more than anything else in the world. Those who can withstand that level of pain without assistance truly astonish me.
While there’s a part of me that muses about maybe, just maybe, the next time will be less painful, I don’t understand why I wouldn’t embrace the modern conveniences available to us today. Life is full of challenges; I don’t need to create more for myself.
There are many aspects of motherhood to embrace, but intentionally avoiding an epidural is simply not one of them for me. Maybe my body isn’t designed for this in the same way yours is.
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In summary, natural childbirth isn’t my plan. I recognize the beauty in those who can endure labor without medication, but I also appreciate the options available to us in modern medicine. Each journey is unique, and mine will include an epidural.