This week’s weather has been simply delightful, encouraging us to bask in the sunshine and shake off those lingering winter blues. What better way to embrace the early spring than with a trip to the park?
A Different Experience
Heading to the park with four teenagers is a different experience compared to our outings years ago. In fact, my eldest has just turned 20—an age I’m still trying to come to terms with—and my youngest is a wonderfully moody 12. Thankfully, there were no diaper bags to lug around or snacks to prepare. We simply decided to go and left on a whim.
Yet, upon arrival, I found myself at a loss. I no longer needed to vigilantly supervise the kids to prevent any accidents or chaos. My attention was no longer divided among multiple activities. I didn’t have to lend a hand up the slide or push anyone on the swings. Instead, I found myself sitting on a park bench, feeling a bit out of place.
Memories of Chaos
When my children were younger, park visits were a mix of chaos and anxiety. I hoped they would serve as a retreat—a chance to unwind and have fun. However, they often turned into an hour of heightened awareness about everything the kids did and said, accompanied by moments of embarrassment when they shared overly personal stories with strangers. I still remember when my son told a couple nearby, “I watched my baby brother come out of my mom’s butt! It was soooo gross!”
What really tested my patience were the constant shouts of “Hey, Mom! Watch this!” My eldest would call out these words no less than 47 times during our visits, whether he was at the top of the slide or just a few feet away. I understood that, as the oldest of four, he craved attention that I sometimes couldn’t provide. Too often, I was busy with messy diapers and feeding younger siblings.
While those pleas for attention could be frustrating, I recognized that when a small child asks you to watch them, there’s a high chance their performance won’t be particularly impressive. My son’s “watch this” moments often ended in him attempting to hop on one foot or making a silly face. Sometimes, it was simply his way of trying to connect—an invitation to see him beyond the tired gaze of an exhausted mother.
“Are you watching, Mom?” he would ask, ensuring I was fully present before executing his typically unimpressive stunt. “I’m watching, buddy. Go ahead.” And so, I would watch, even if his attempts at fun didn’t always leave me in awe. It was part of the job, after all.
A New Chapter
This week at the park, however, not once did my eldest call out for me to “watch this.” Perhaps that’s why I felt so disoriented, unsure of my role. In just 13 days, he’ll be leaving for the Army.
As he sat silently beside me, I could almost hear his unspoken words. Standing on the edge of independence, he seemed to whisper, “Hey, Mom, watch this,” as he prepares to take flight—strong, capable, and beautiful. This time, what he’s about to embark on is genuinely impressive, and I can hardly bear to watch, but I know it’s worth every moment.
“I’m watching, buddy. Go ahead…”
Further Reading
For more tips on parenting and navigating family life, check out our other posts, including one on home insemination kits for those exploring their family-building options. You can also find excellent resources on pregnancy and insemination at Hopkins Medicine’s fertility center and explore innovative solutions at Make A Mom.
Conclusion
In summary, parenting evolves dramatically as children grow older, shifting from hands-on supervision to a more reflective role. The transformation can leave us feeling lost, especially as our children prepare to embark on new adventures. Yet, every moment spent supporting them, no matter how mundane it may seem, is precious.