Throughout my adult life, I’ve identified as pro-choice, but that doesn’t mean I was always comfortable with the concept of abortion. In my younger years, the thought of someone I knew choosing to terminate a pregnancy made me uneasy. For a long time, I subscribed to the belief that abortions should be “safe, legal, and rare.” It’s a viewpoint that many feminists argue misses the core issue, and although I was aware of these discussions, I remained ambivalent.
Then, I became pregnant.
This pregnancy was planned and deeply desired. As a member of a same-sex couple, my partner and I had to navigate a unique journey to conceive, which involved considerable effort and planning. During our attempts, I found myself pondering whether carrying a child would alter my pro-choice stance. Would pregnancy change how I felt about abortion, similar to how some mothers I knew had shifted their perspectives?
After just two months of trying, I took a digital pregnancy test. I was cautious, not wanting to get my hopes up. But there it was: “pregnant.” Just two days later, I was met with severe morning sickness.
Surprisingly, I felt an immediate connection to the life growing inside me. However, contrary to my earlier fears, my experience of pregnancy didn’t diminish my pro-choice beliefs. Instead, it deepened my conviction that individuals who can get pregnant have an undeniable right to make decisions about their own bodies. My previous hesitance regarding reproductive rights vanished, replaced with a fiercer, more passionate pro-choice stance.
Let me elaborate.
Even a straightforward pregnancy can be a grueling ordeal. Mine was anything but easy; it was a nightmare. I was so ill that I struggled to function. Each time I thought the worst had passed, it somehow got worse. While I cherished the idea of being pregnant, the reality of it was overwhelming. After a particularly brutal episode of sickness, I turned to my partner and exclaimed, “No one should have to endure this if they don’t want to! I don’t care about their reasons!”
In that moment, everything clicked. I stopped caring about debates over when life begins or if a fetus should be classified as a “baby.” I became acutely aware of how intrusive pregnancy can be on one’s body and life. If we believe in bodily autonomy, then everyone should have the right to consent—or not—to the experience of gestation. This idea should be fundamental and uncontroversial. It is simply wrong to compel someone to carry a pregnancy to term against their will.
Having navigated the challenges of pregnancy, I found myself appalled by the implications of anti-choice rhetoric. A wanted pregnancy is tough enough—how miserable must it be to endure an unwanted one?
In short: Pregnancy is hard work, and not everyone is—or should be—prepared for it. I managed my way through, but it was an experience that defied description. Each morning, I woke up hoping for a different day, one where I wouldn’t dread being in my own skin. But each day mirrored the last. The only glimmer of hope I had was knowing my baby was healthy and that I would soon be a mother. To endure all of that while being unwilling to have a fetus inside you? That is a cruelty I can hardly fathom.
Now, I have a beautiful baby who brings me joy every single day. Watching him grow is a greater delight than I ever imagined. I’m grateful for the steps I took to welcome this incredible little person into my life.
Today, I stand firmly pro-choice without reservations about how often I believe abortions should occur. If you find yourself facing an unwanted pregnancy and feel the need to terminate it for any reason, you have my unwavering support. And I apologize for taking so long to reach this understanding.
For more insights into home insemination, you can explore this resource, and if you’re considering options for artificial insemination, make sure to check this out. Additionally, Hopkins Medicine offers excellent resources on pregnancy and fertility.
Summary
Ultimately, my pregnancy has solidified my pro-choice beliefs, emphasizing the importance of bodily autonomy and the right to choose. Navigating the challenges of pregnancy has made me more passionate about the need for reproductive freedom, and I now advocate wholeheartedly for everyone to have the choice to decide what happens to their bodies.