I’ll always remember the moment I learned I was pregnant for the second time. My first pregnancy had ended abruptly in a heartbreaking miscarriage, which plunged me into months of sadness and fertility treatments. On this particular day, I shuffled into the doctor’s office, feeling bloated and uncomfortable as if my ovaries were the size of bowling balls, colliding with each step.
“Have you taken a pregnancy test?” the nurse at the front desk asked, a hopeful glint in her eye. “You have to be pregnant!”
Within seconds of using the test, two lines emerged. Tears welled up as I handed the stick to the nurse, who exclaimed, “I knew it!” The entire waiting area erupted in applause.
Relief washed over me; my struggles seemed to be behind me.
At five weeks, we discovered I was expecting twins. By twelve weeks, we learned they were both boys, and at sixteen weeks, we captured their adorable profiles on ultrasound. I hung those images above my desk, constantly admiring them. Yet, a gnawing worry lingered—Baby B’s profile seemed off. While Baby A looked perfect, Baby B’s features reminded me unsettlingly of Darth Vader’s helmet. “It’s probably just the angle,” I reassured myself.
I anticipated no surprises at the 21-week ultrasound since we already knew their genders. The doctor praised Baby A’s growth, highlighting his flawless features. Baby B was developing well, but Baby A was partially blocking the view. It was then that the doctor confirmed Baby B had a complete bilateral cleft lip and palate. My heart sank, and I felt a wave of dread wash over me as I struggled to process the information. My instincts about Baby B had unfortunately been correct.
My husband, who was studying to become an oral surgeon, tried to explain what a cleft lip and palate entailed. Essentially, during the sixth to tenth weeks, the roof of Baby B’s mouth and the two sides of his upper lip hadn’t fused properly. According to the CDC, nearly 4,000 babies in the U.S. are born with some form of cleft lip or palate each year, making it one of the most common birth defects.
But the challenges didn’t stop there. I was already experiencing contractions, and my doctor prescribed bed rest. The perfect pregnancy I had dreamed of was shifting into a nightmare.
I set up camp on the couch, crying for three days. My husband did his best to help me understand what our baby might look like, but we never got a clear picture due to Baby A’s positioning. Since cleft conditions can also be associated with heart problems, my doctor referred me to a pediatric cardiologist, who conducted an ultrasound on Baby B’s heart. Thankfully, it showed no defects; still, the cardiologist would be on call during the delivery just in case.
When the day of their birth arrived, I was five and a half weeks early. After Baby A was born and immediately taken to the NICU, my cervix closed, keeping Baby B snug inside for three anxious hours. When he finally arrived, I was filled with joy: he had a round face, bright blue eyes, and a small bump where his lip had not fused.
The following weeks were filled with emotional challenges. He struggled to nurse since he couldn’t create the necessary seal with his lips. When I took both babies out in the stroller, people often stared and asked, “What’s wrong with your baby’s nose?”
Today, at 12 years old, he has undergone four surgeries related to his clefts and will need more as he continues to grow. He has received speech therapy and will eventually require implants for missing teeth. Genetic testing revealed that his cleft resulted from a deletion on one of his genes, something we could never have anticipated.
While I once viewed having a baby with a birth defect as a nightmare, I now cherish it as a blessing. He is a strong, intelligent young man, and his journey has helped me become a more compassionate and understanding mother.
For more information on the fertility journey and home insemination, explore this resource, or check out Make A Mom for expert advice. Additionally, News Medical offers excellent resources on pregnancy and related topics.
Summary:
This piece reflects on a mother’s emotional journey from discovering her second pregnancy to learning of her baby’s cleft lip and palate. It highlights her initial fears and challenges, her husband’s support as a future oral surgeon, and the eventual acceptance of her child’s condition as a blessing. The story also emphasizes the importance of empathy and resilience in parenting.