When my first child, Leo, was born, he insisted on being held upright like a football to drift off to sleep. My partner, Sarah, and I quickly developed a night routine where she handled the early hours, and I took over after 3 a.m. Those nights were filled with blurry-eyed stares at the TV, wishing for some miracle solution to coax him into slumber. Like many parents, we embarked on a quest for answers.
We initially tried the popular “cry it out” method, renowned for its effectiveness. However, it was one of the toughest challenges I faced as a parent. Sarah thought it was inhumane, while I looked at her with tired, bloodshot eyes. Balancing our full-time jobs and college studies left me nodding off on public transport, waking up in bizarre places. “I can’t keep doing this,” I told her.
Eventually, we decided to give it a shot. We placed Leo in his crib and let him cry, offering intermittent comfort without picking him up. After three long nights of his wailing, I found myself close to tears, torn between exhaustion and heartache. Listening to him cry was gut-wrenching. He eventually started sleeping through the night—for about a week—until a bout of norovirus turned our world upside down.
After he recovered, he was back in my arms every night. Oddly enough, I found solace in holding him rather than enduring those painful cries. I vowed never to let him cry it out again.
Fast forward nine years, and I’ve adopted a different approach with our three kids—two daughters and a son. We’ve attempted countless strategies to help them sleep. Schedules? Never stuck due to our chaotic lives. Essentials oils? They had little effect, proving to be as useful as snake oil. Skipping naps? A complete disaster that felt like running a marathon with a cranky toddler in tow.
We tried to put them down when they looked drowsy, often sacrificing dinner or school assignments in the process. There were even times I rubbed them down with various calming lotions—lavender, chamomile, and ylang-ylang. Instead of soothing them, it usually resulted in giggles and more energy, leaving me more drained than ever.
The most frustrating part of these sleep strategies was hearing other parents rave about their success. Each failed attempt made me question if I was doing something wrong.
My middle child, Mia, could only fall asleep in her high chair, with soft music playing and no one around. While this worried Sarah, I reassured her, “She won’t be in that high chair in college.” Turns out, I was right; my two oldest now have a solid bedtime routine. Sure, they protest, drag their feet, and sometimes gnash their teeth, but by 8:30 p.m., they’re usually asleep—except for our youngest, who’s about to turn 2.
Getting her to sleep is another saga. I’ve learned that playing Baby Einstein: Lullaby Time on repeat and holding her on the couch for an hour is the only way. Sometimes, I’m up so long that the visuals start to blend into a bizarre experience—“The train goes in a circle. Oh, I see it now.”
During those long nights, I remind myself that my older kids sleep soundly now. It took a lot longer than I anticipated, and Sarah and I have exchanged some pretty heated words—only things tired, loving parents can say. Yet, I think back to my earlier remarks about Mia and her high chair.
As frustrating as the sleep struggle is, I’ve come to realize that patience and love are the true answers. Time is what ultimately worked for us. So, to the parents grappling with squirmy, stubborn little ones, know that the sleepless nights won’t last forever. Your kids will eventually find their rhythm. There is hope, and the light at the end of the tunnel is brighter than it seems. You’ve got unconditional love and time on your side, and that’s a powerful combination.
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Summary
Parenting can be a sleepless journey, but it’s crucial to remember that it eventually gets better. The key lies in love, patience, and time. Each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Embrace the chaos and trust that your little ones will learn to sleep soundly in their own time.