With college graduation just around the corner, I find myself reflecting on what this milestone means for my daughter, Lily, and for me as her mother. The questions swirl in my mind: What will my new role be? How can I support her as she steps into this next chapter of her life?
When Lily was born with Down syndrome, I never imagined she would be on the verge of graduating from college. Recently, I heard from friends about three new babies born with Down syndrome in our community, and I felt a wave of excitement. I wanted to reach out to their parents and say, “Congratulations! You may feel overwhelmed or uncertain, but the blessings you’ll receive through parenting these children are immeasurable.”
Yet, I hesitated. I remember how challenging it was to forge new dreams for my child. It’s essential to keep dreaming big and have high expectations for our children. I want to tell those new moms that they will become fierce advocates for their child’s future.
As for Lily, her plans for the future are still taking shape. She aims to return to her college in the fall, live with a friend, and work at a local café. For me, this means shifting my role from a controlling parent to a supportive advisor. There’s a certain freedom that comes with letting go.
I recall how my two sons transitioned to college; it deepened our relationship as I learned to listen more and let them navigate their own paths. With Lily, it’s a bit different. She often calls me several times a day, keeping me involved, but the distance of being four hours away has allowed us both to grow.
You can try to maintain control from any distance, but that doesn’t promote freedom. While Lily has been in college, there have been times I needed to step in, especially since parenting a child with an intellectual disability necessitates a different approach. The shift from active parent to advisor has been gradual, taking me four years to fully embrace this new role.
A dear friend recently asked if I see Lily as my little girl or as the adult she has become. That question struck a chord, as I often still view her as my child instead of recognizing her independence. Accepting that Lily is an adult capable of making her own choices means I must adjust my mindset and let go of some control. This is a tough transition, but it’s also a blessing. Isn’t that what we desire for all our children?
I’m incredibly grateful for friends who help me see the positive aspects of this transition. Our hearts remain tied to our children forever, regardless of their age. However, our roles evolve. Along with being an advisor, I believe we also have the honor of praying for them. I often ask for guidance to know when to speak and when to listen, ensuring my words uplift rather than criticize.
I have so much to share with new parents of babies with Down syndrome. It’s an unexpected journey, but you’ll witness your child making a difference in ways you might never have imagined. You’ll experience love, joy, and even heartache like never before—all because of the incredible gift of parenting. I believe that God can provide a fresh perspective, keeping us humble and grounded.
As we move from one role to another throughout our children’s lives, our influence remains strong. When it feels like we’re losing our connection or being sidelined in our role as mom, remember that there’s no greater influence than a praying mom on her knees.
For more insights on home insemination and pregnancy, check out this article and learn from the experts at Make a Mom. If you’re interested in understanding more about the process of intrauterine insemination, this resource is excellent.
In summary, embracing the growth of our adult children, especially those with unique challenges, requires us to rethink our roles as parents. The transition can be difficult, but ultimately, it leads to a deeper relationship built on respect, love, and encouragement.