Updated: May 5, 2023
Recently, during a caffeine-induced burst of energy, I had a revelation. As a relatively new mom, my life has transformed dramatically over the past few years. After getting married in 2012, I soon found myself expecting my first child, and shortly after, my second. Now, I’m navigating the chaos of raising two lively boys—just 15 months apart. Talk about a cosmic joke!
In less than three years, I transitioned from sunbathing in a bikini with a mimosa in hand to squeezing into (gasp) mom jeans while trying to shed some weight in hopes of fitting back into my beloved size 6s. Let’s be real—that’s a lofty goal. One day, as I scrolled through Facebook, I found myself judging my body against my stunning friends, and it hit me: this constant comparison was draining, and my obsession with my appearance was getting way too expensive! What if I embraced the messy, unfiltered reality rather than presenting a perfectly curated life online?
I’ve been in competitive mode for as long as I can remember. From sports to job interviews, I’ve always felt the need to measure myself against others. As a lifelong athlete, my basement is overflowing with accolades that remind me I didn’t completely fail. But this competitive nature has sometimes damaged friendships, especially during those wild intramural soccer games or heated beach volleyball matches. Let’s just say, I can be a bit intense.
The turning point came after I became a mom. Instead of competing with others, I found myself grappling with self-acceptance. Post-baby, I scrutinized my reflection every day, navigating the maze of stretch marks and wondering if I’d ever see my abs again. I’d gaze longingly at my pre-pregnancy jeans, consumed by guilt over every taco and milkshake I enjoyed during my back-to-back pregnancies. Suddenly, I felt like a loser—a soft, vulnerable loser whose body image had taken a serious hit.
I couldn’t help but envy those superwomen who slipped into bikinis shortly after giving birth, flaunting their toned bodies. Meanwhile, I felt too self-conscious to even step foot in Walmart, fearing judgment for not looking like a lingerie model (yes, really). I tried to deprive myself of food, only to end up devouring a family-sized pack of Oreos in a single sitting. I pushed myself through spin classes, claiming I was just trying to be healthy—but deep down, I longed for the abs of Jessica Alba, the arms of Jennifer Aniston, and the backside of Beyoncé. Totally attainable, right? I was losing my grip on reality, fixated on an old version of myself while neglecting what truly mattered—my sweet boys who needed my full attention.
One day, after dropping my kids off at the gym daycare, my oldest, Max, rushed to the glass door, tears welling in his big brown eyes. He pressed his tiny nose against the glass, silently pleading for me not to leave him in that unfamiliar place. At that moment, my heart shattered into a thousand selfish pieces. Had I really become so consumed by my own insecurities that I was overlooking the miracles that brought me to this point? Was fitting into my high school jeans worth more than the precious time with my children? Absolutely not.
That day, I made a pivotal choice: to stop competing with an unrealistic image and embrace my current self. I allowed myself to be imperfect, to skip the Spanx, and to indulge in a milkshake guilt-free. I reminded myself that being a mother is not just enough—it’s everything. My priorities shifted from my appearance to nurturing my boys, knowing that chasing after them burns plenty of calories.
While a little healthy competition can be motivating, prioritizing my worth based on societal standards is out of the question. Social media should never dictate how I feel about myself or my journey. I may wear stretchier pants and larger dress sizes now, but I’ll always be that competitive spirit at heart. And you know what? I feel like we’re all on the same team—and I truly hope we all win.
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Summary:
This piece reflects the journey of a new mom who grapples with body image and societal expectations after childbirth. Acknowledging the pressures of comparison, she ultimately embraces her role as a mother, prioritizing her children over her appearance. The narrative highlights the importance of self-acceptance and the realization that one’s worth is defined by love and care for family, not by fitting into a certain size.