This Sunday, families across the nation will gather to celebrate Mother’s Day. I, too, will join my mother, mother-in-law, and children for the occasion. However, this year, I find it difficult to embrace the festivities wholeheartedly. A sense of unease lingers within me. The truth is, I can’t help but reflect on how our country treats mothers, and it frustrates me.
America’s Treatment of Mothers
Let’s begin with childbirth. Despite the fact that the U.S. spends more on medical care for pregnant women than any other nation, we still have one of the highest rates of infant mortality among developed countries. Alarmingly, maternal mortality rates have surged over the past decade. Lower-income mothers, who often lack access to adequate prenatal and maternity care, are disproportionately affected, accounting for a significant number of childbirth-related deaths.
According to the 2013 U.S. Census, 46.5 million individuals live in poverty in America, with mothers and their children bearing the brunt of this crisis. A large percentage of single-parent households are led by women, and 31% of families headed by single mothers live in poverty. The staggering statistic that strikes me the hardest is that 16.1 million children in the United States are growing up in impoverished conditions.
These are children of mothers—mothers who struggle just like you and me. Children who may go to bed without a proper meal. Mothers who lie awake at night, burdened by the knowledge that their children are suffering. It’s not just a handful of women begging on the streets; it’s millions of mothers and countless children in our country.
That’s simply unacceptable. This isn’t a political issue; I don’t care who is right or wrong. As a mother, I find it intolerable that so many children are living in poverty, and it makes me sick to my stomach.
Personal Reflections
Initially, I wanted to share my personal challenges as a mother. I thought I would vent about the exhausting hours I put in and express my desire for a few moments of peace on Mother’s Day. But as I reflected on my own grievances, I realized that the very struggles I face are also blessings—privileges that many mothers do not have.
My toddler may not sleep through the night, but he rests in a warm room with clean blankets. If he falls ill, we can drive our car (an old but reliable Honda) to a doctor who accepts our insurance, and our medication costs us just $5.
While I may complain about the mess my kids create with their toys, it’s a reminder that they have plenty to play with. I often grapple with the issue of screen time, but I should be grateful for the array of electronics we have at our disposal. The very idea of listing them makes me feel uneasy.
Like many middle-class families, we have faced financial hardships. We became parents just as the Great Recession struck, and it hit us hard. When I was pregnant with my second child, my husband lost his job as a disability educator after the funding for his program was cut.
For a year, we relied on food stamps, which helped but never fully covered our grocery expenses, leading to immense stress. We lived in a cramped one-bedroom apartment with our two kids, and I fretted about our future. Yet, not once did I fear for my children’s survival or health. We had some savings and supportive family members to lean on.
I’m not dismissing the challenges faced by middle-class mothers; they are valid and real. I absolutely deserve to voice my exhaustion and the isolation motherhood can sometimes bring.
A Call for Change
However, I make these requests with humility and awareness of my privilege as a white, educated, middle-class woman. Ultimately, all mothers, regardless of their background, share the same fundamental desire: we want our children to be healthy and happy. And that wish weighs heavily on our hearts, as happiness is not easily attained. Even with abundant resources and the best medical care, health is never guaranteed.
So, to all mothers out there, I wish you a Mother’s Day filled with less worry and more moments of peace. I hope your children shower you with hugs, flowers, and breakfast in bed—whatever brings you joy. I wish you abundance on Mother’s Day and every day.
But my aspirations reach further. I yearn for a kinder, more supportive America. We should not have to wait for essential benefits like paid maternity leave or comprehensive healthcare for all. Mothers need access to programs that ensure families can afford nutritious food, among many other necessities.
While mothers wait for change, they continue to give their all to their children, even amidst feelings of inadequacy. They are resilient, imperfect, and stronger than they realize. And their children see them as the incredible figures they are.
However, for mothers living in poverty, a simple kiss or acknowledgment can only do so much when their basic needs are unmet.
This Sunday, as I celebrate mothers across America, I will reflect on their love and strength. Yet, I will also carry a sense of mourning. I will brainstorm ways, alongside my children, to give back, advocate, and push for change.
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Summary
This article reflects on the challenges mothers face in America, highlighting the disparities in healthcare and economic stability. While celebrating motherhood, the author expresses a desire for systemic change to better support women and children in need.