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27 Unfiltered Realities of Marriage
Having been married for over 11 years, I’ve gathered plenty of marriage advice over the years. Much of it was filled with sweetness and light, but not enough of it captured the quirky and sometimes mundane truths of married life. Here’s a list of insights I wish I had known before diving into marriage. If you’re just starting out or still navigating this journey, I hope you find these observations helpful.
- Most marriage arguments revolve around laundry, money, and whose turn it is to scrub the toilet.
- Somewhere between the engagement and the mortgage, couples start leaving the bathroom door wide open while doing their business.
- Loading the dishwasher can feel like an intelligence test—who knew it could be so complicated?
- Real love is not about grand gestures; it’s about dealing with the annoying pimple on your partner’s back.
- After kids, sleep becomes a valuable currency, traded for everything from chores to intimacy.
- Married men find themselves saving pictures of feminine hygiene products on their phones to avoid buying the wrong items.
- Family calendars include soccer practice, periods (code-named “Aunt Flo”), and sex (referred to as “Funkytown”).
- Couples can argue about directions while cruising down the freeway at 75 mph—apparently, that’s perfectly legal.
- A husband can produce gas so foul that his wife has to step outside, only to then ask for intimacy—how charming!
- Handing your spouse toilet paper through the bathroom door is a true sign of partnership.
- You discover a lot about your partner’s habits just by doing the laundry, including their hygiene practices.
- There’s often an unspoken competition over which parent the kids love more.
- Just when you think you hit the jackpot with your spouse, they’ll do something like eat a bowl of expired cottage cheese and then ask what smells off.
- A husband never grasps why his wife insists on the toilet seat being down until he has a 3 a.m. mishap.
- Modern marriage often involves making sure your partner looks good in pictures before sharing them on social media.
- Couples share everything—except toothbrushes, of course.
- Intimacy in marriage often starts with laying down a towel on the bed.
- One partner is usually dieting while the other indulges in pizza.
- Many divorces stem from arguments over small blankets.
- Married couples have guest towels and sheets that are strictly off-limits for family use—cross that line at your own risk.
- Ikea assembly instructions should come with a side of marriage counseling.
- Imagining your spouse with an extra 45 pounds is part of the long-term investment reality.
- Eventually, lingerie becomes more of a bother, and most married people just appreciate being naked and alone.
- Winning over your wife may look like letting her sleep in or surprising her with brownies—or both.
- A significant portion of married life revolves around texting each other about what to have for dinner.
- Trust issues can often arise from who devoured the last brownie.
- Couples sometimes find themselves watching their partner sleep—there’s something both odd and beautifully tender about that.
This list is just a glimpse into the peculiarities of marriage. There’s so much more to discover. Familiarizing yourself with these truths can give you a head start on navigating the wonderfully strange world of marriage. For more insights into family life, check out this other post on intrauterine insemination.
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Summary
Marriage is full of unexpected quirks and realities that often go unspoken. From the mundane arguments over household chores to the intimate moments of vulnerability, understanding these dynamics can significantly enhance your marital journey. Embrace the oddities, and remember that you’re not alone in navigating this adventure.