Parenting
By Emily Sanders
Updated: May 13, 2021
My son is a redhead—though in our home, we affectionately refer to him as an “orangehead.” His hair, a mix of sun-kissed sandy strands interwoven with rich copper hues, has an almost magical quality, reminiscent of gazing into a tiger’s eye.
When he was born, a college friend with a similar hair color, looking a bit somber, remarked, “He’s got the curse.” My husband and I exchanged bewildered looks; we had dreamed of having a bunch of kids with lovely red curls. Our friend, however, warned us that his hair had made his own childhood challenging. We shrugged it off, thinking he must have faced other difficulties.
Now, as we navigate the world with our son, we start to understand. Every time he steps outside without a hat, strangers feel compelled to comment. The remarks come flooding in, often from well-meaning adults who say things like:
- “Wow! Look at that hair!”
- “Boy, you’re gonna be trouble.”
- “Hey there, Red!”
- “You’re a fiery one—bet you get mad!”
- “A ginger!”
- “That hair is too much!”
- “Carrot top! Did you eat a whole bag of carrots?”
- “Redheads dance with the devil.”
It’s true; all these comments have been directed at our 4-year-old by adults who seem blissfully unaware of how their words might affect him. While I can see the admiration and excitement in their eyes, he doesn’t always perceive it that way. Sometimes, the comments make him feel like his hair is naughty or peculiar. Though they often mean no harm, the constant attention without praise can weigh on his little shoulders.
After hearing that warning from our friend, I decided to take a proactive approach. Once he turned two, I began addressing the comments directly. When someone calls out, “A ginger!” I would respond, “Yes, isn’t that hair beautiful?” If they joked about him being trouble, I’d quickly counter with, “No, he’s actually a kind and helpful boy.” Most people would realize their mistake and quickly agree, “Oh yes, such lovely hair.” But it still didn’t feel like enough.
The portrayal of red-haired boys in media is limited, and often negative. While girls with red hair have some positive representations, boys seem to be pigeonholed into stereotypes. Even popular children’s books frequently feature mean characters with fiery locks. Red-haired boys seldom get to see positive role models, and unfortunately, even amidst the tabloids, the charming Prince Harry doesn’t do much for my son.
Then, ESPN came to the rescue. The cover of a recent issue featured Andy Dalton, exuding confidence without a hint of aggression. His intense expression and playful smirk were captivating, and, importantly, he wore his red hair proudly.
As soon as I received the magazine, I placed it on the kitchen counter while chatting with a friend nearby. “Look at this guy!” I exclaimed. “Many think he’s really cool and handsome.” My son leaned in, intrigued but silent.
Over the next week, I casually left the magazine around the house, allowing him to discover it. Eight days later, he approached me with the magazine in hand. “Mommy,” he asked, “do you think this man’s hair is handsome?”
“Yes, buddy, I absolutely do,” I replied. His face lit up with a smile—a beautiful mix of relief and newfound confidence.
Thank you, ESPN, for creating a positive representation.
In a world where we strive to nurture self-esteem, it’s essential to celebrate our children’s uniqueness. If you’re interested in more about home insemination and related topics, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination. For those looking to boost fertility, this guide on fertility boosters for men is a great read. And to learn more about the journey of home insemination, visit this informative blog post.
Summary: This article discusses how a mother helped her son embrace his vibrant red hair amid societal stereotypes and negative comments. By actively promoting positive representations of red-haired individuals and fostering self-esteem, she aims to help her son feel proud of his unique hair color.