As my son and I strolled into the local pharmacy last week, I had to make a quick stop in the greeting card aisle. “Why don’t you choose a First Communion card for your cousin while I check out the Mother’s Day cards? We can get out of here faster!” I encouraged him.
“Mom, what’s a ‘Communion’?” my 7-year-old asked, leaving me momentarily speechless and with a familiar knot in my stomach.
I grew up in a devout Catholic family, participated in all the sacraments, and even spent several summers volunteering on mission trips. While I consider myself a spiritual person, I often find myself at odds with many of the teachings I received during my upbringing, particularly how they were presented to me.
When my son was born, my husband and I chose not to have him baptized. I didn’t believe our precious child came into the world with sin. My husband is not religious, so it felt like the right decision for our family. Since then, we’ve occasionally enrolled him in religious summer camps, and I’ve always answered his questions about faith as they come up. However, religion hasn’t been a significant aspect of our daily lives.
It wasn’t until this recent shopping trip that I really considered this lack of religious focus, especially since my son’s cousin—my godson—was experiencing a milestone that he wasn’t familiar with. I answered his questions as honestly as I could, but it hit me harder than I expected. Maybe it was because he’s older now and starting to grasp these concepts more deeply, or perhaps it was the realization of how little he knows about religious traditions.
Nonetheless, I’ve come to recognize that each day I strive to do what’s best for him. Will I ever be sure if my choices were the right ones? Well, I guess we’ll find out if he ends up in therapy someday! But for now, we’re navigating parenthood in our own way and making choices that feel right for us.
If my son ever expresses interest in learning more about religion or wishes to attend church regularly like some of his cousins do, I would support that wholeheartedly. But it would need to be his decision, rooted in his own curiosity and desire, not something I impose on him because it’s what I was taught or what some might consider the “right” path.
I want him to cultivate the ability to make choices based on personal connection rather than obligation. If it resonates with him, then it will resonate with me—that’s always the right way forward.
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In summary, my family’s approach to religion is about personal choice rather than obligation. I want my son to explore faith in a way that feels authentic to him, ensuring he makes his own decisions based on a genuine connection.