How to Navigate the Return to the Workforce After Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

After spending nearly ten years managing the chaos of family life, I’m finally ready to step back into the professional world. It took a lot of encouragement to get here—who would want to hire someone who has spent so long perfecting the art of wearing sweatpants and using made-up words like “fluffernutter” in place of traditional expletives? Yet, here I am, ready to trade in my comfy attire for a briefcase and wondering if pantyhose are still a thing in offices.

As I prepare for my first day, my partner reminded me to avoid “momming” everything. With a sense of urgency to avoid embarrassment, I made a mental list of things I absolutely must not do:

1. Resist the Urge to Give Time-Outs.

As tempting as it might be to threaten a coworker with a timeout for minor infractions, I can only imagine the HR meeting that would follow. While I’ve perfected the “angry mom” look, I’ll need to keep that in check during my first week.

2. Avoid Overly Enthusiastic Praise.

When my boss shares news, I might feel the instinct to respond with an enthusiastic, “That’s amazing! Good job!” This might be acceptable in a kid’s context, but in the workplace, it could come off as sarcastic. I need to temper my responses to match the adult setting.

3. Don’t Play Cleanup Crew.

Even if my colleague, Mark, is struggling to keep his lunch off his stylish beard, I must resist the urge to whip out a napkin for cleanup duty. This isn’t kindergarten, after all!

4. Skip the Third-Person References.

I can already envision a scenario where I snap back at a coworker with, “Emily doesn’t appreciate that comment!” That kind of behavior could get me a reputation I don’t want!

5. Leave the Sticker Charts Behind.

Though sticker charts worked wonders for my kids, adults likely won’t be motivated by shiny stars or fun stickers. Perhaps I’ll stick to bringing in bagels or donuts instead.

6. No Bribery Allowed.

Regardless of how stressful the environment gets, I must remember that using snacks as bargaining chips is a no-go in a professional setting. Adults are unlikely to be swayed by cheese sticks or stale candy.

As much as I’m thrilled about the prospect of interacting with other adults, I also feel a twinge of anxiety about leaving my kids in someone else’s care. The big day has finally arrived; I’ve chosen a polished outfit, packed a nutritious lunch (no yogurt tubes!), and I just hope I don’t accidentally say something like, “Thank you for using your words!”

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In summary, transitioning back into the workforce after years as a stay-at-home mom requires some adjustments. Avoiding common parenting habits and embracing professional etiquette will help ease the transition. With a bit of luck and preparation, I’m ready to take on this new challenge!