Hey there, my sweet little darlings! I often find myself feeling overwhelmed by the challenges of parenting. Some days, I’m so exhausted that forming complete sentences feels like a chore. I sometimes lack the energy to engage with you, and my patience can wear thin—one more request might just send me over the edge.
A lot of my day is spent directing you: Finish your breakfast! Pick up your socks! Be kind to each other! Please, please don’t throw toilet paper in the sink! And for goodness’ sake, aim for the toilet!
At the end of the day, I often reflect on whether I’m providing you with a joyful childhood. Are there enough happy moments? What will you remember about me? Will I be just the person who made sure you were fed, gave orders, and wiped away your tears—or will you remember me as someone who brought joy, had interesting thoughts to share, and was loving, fun, and kind?
I believe you’ll remember a mix of everything, just as I remember my own childhood. There were arguments, worries, and tears, but also unforgettable moments of connection and joy. I hope to create those moments for you, too.
I want you to see me as your mom, yes, but also as a person—imperfect and flawed, yet overflowing with love and warmth. I understand I still have time to shape your childhood memories, and I hope to leave behind a few simple things that capture who I am.
Here are some things I hope you’ll remember about me:
- I want you to recall those nights when I claimed I was too tired for fun, yet suddenly decided to throw on our coats over our pajamas, stroll to the deli, grab some M&M’s, and sit outside enjoying the magic of the night.
- I hope you remember how I held you close when you were feeling unwell, singing “This Little Light of Mine” in a wobbly voice until you drifted off to sleep in my arms.
- I want you to know that no matter how scared you felt after a nightmare, my room was always open, and I would hold your hand until you found your way back to dreamland.
- Yes, I’ll admit I yelled sometimes over trivial matters, but I always tried to apologize if I went too far or the yelling lasted too long.
- Remember those nights we had breakfast for dinner or ice cream as our main course? I hope you’ll look back on those evenings with laughter, not as a sign of my failures, but as spontaneous fun.
- I want you to remember me pausing to admire the moon and getting excited over a colorful sunset. I hope you see my soft belly, the little lines on my forehead, my messy hair, and my comfy, worn-out sweatshirt as signs of love and authenticity.
- I want you to remember me as an everyday woman—a brave one who spoke honestly to you and to the world.
Know that everything I did was driven by love, even when I stumbled along the way. I tried my best, and my biggest wish was for you to always feel safe and cherished.
Ultimately, I realize that I can’t dictate the memories you’ll carry with you. Your childhood is a tapestry you’ll weave yourself, and I hold less control over it than I might like to think. Still, a mom can hope, right? I hope that amidst the chaos of daily life, I’m providing you with genuine, unfiltered happiness. I hope you’ll remember my quirks as simply me, doing my best to love you to the moon and back.
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To summarize, I hope you remember the love and joy amid the challenges, the laughter during the tough times, and that I was always trying my best for you.