Growing up in the vibrant ’80s and early ’90s was a different experience. There were no cell phones or tracking devices, and most of the time, my parents had no clue where I was. The concept of “helicopter parenting” was unheard of, and it wasn’t uncommon for a shopkeeper, a fellow parent, or even a stranger to tell us kids to behave when we were acting up. They certainly didn’t owe my parents an apology for stepping in. Generally, we listened, and I believe this kind of community oversight helped us make better choices—at least some of us!
A while back, I was at the park when a woman approached me, saying she felt compelled to apologize for reprimanding my son. He had been pushing her daughter, and she felt bad for having to intervene while I was distracted with my own child. I appreciated her concern and assured her that she was actually doing me a favor. More importantly, my son learned a valuable lesson that day. If this woman hadn’t said anything, he would have likely thought he could get away with his behavior, leading him to repeat it.
Most parents would probably agree that if they are present, they wouldn’t appreciate someone else disciplining their child. However, there are definitely moments when it’s appropriate to speak up. It doesn’t need to be confrontational or harsh; a kind but firm reminder can go a long way.
If I see a child—regardless of age—engaging in behavior that could harm themselves or others, I won’t hesitate to intervene. I believe it’s reasonable to expect the same from other adults. So if my child disrespects you, please feel free to address it. If they’re unkind to your child, I encourage you to ask them to apologize. And if they’re misbehaving in a more egregious manner, don’t hold back.
The saying, “it takes a village to raise a child,” resonates with me deeply. As children grow, it often takes more than one set of eyes to guide them. When kids realize that adults are watching, they become more mindful of their actions. I know I certainly was. Different perspectives can teach valuable lessons, and I welcome my children learning from a variety of sources. I want them to grow up with respect for others and an understanding of the consequences of their actions. After all, how can that happen if no one speaks up for fear of offending the parents?
Let’s be real: even the best-behaved kids will occasionally test boundaries, and you might not always be there to witness it. Fortunately, if they do find themselves stepping out of line, I hope there are other adults ready to step in. Trying on those rebellious “dickweed pants” doesn’t mean your kid is a bad person; even good kids can make poor choices. If they feel embarrassed when they’re caught, that could prevent them from repeating the mistake.
So, if I see a child on the verge of a bad decision, I will speak up. If they’re causing harm to someone else or themselves, I will definitely intervene. However, if it’s just something that doesn’t sit well with me, I’ll mind my own business—because that’s just good manners. Luckily, when I was a kid, there were compassionate adults who cared enough to steer me back on track when my own behavior went awry.
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In summary, it’s essential to foster a community where adults feel empowered to address children’s misbehavior. This not only helps the kids learn valuable lessons but also reinforces the values of respect and accountability.