It’s been a remarkable time in our nation. The recent presidential primary has stirred up more racially charged rhetoric than I can recall in recent memory. An advertisement from Old Navy showcasing an interracial family with biracial children ignited a wave of social media backlash, with comments expressing disdain for “miscegenation” and a longing for “pure bloodlines.” Additionally, we’ve seen unsettling remarks regarding Malia Obama’s acceptance into Harvard flooding our news feeds. Like many others, I’ve found these occurrences deeply troubling.
For me, this issue cuts even deeper. My partner is Black, I’m white, and together we have three vibrant, spirited biracial kids—our oldest is approaching the age where she’ll start asking difficult questions about race and identity.
Reflecting on Change
Let’s rewind to 2008. Setting politics aside, we were thrilled at the prospect of our country electing a Black, biracial president. My husband and I had often discussed how we never expected to see such a milestone in our lifetimes. I was overjoyed that my toddler son would grow up during this historic presidency, blissfully unaware of how significant it truly was.
I can’t claim to fully grasp our nation’s intricate racial history, but I can share my perspective. The racial tensions that have surfaced over the past eight years, especially during this election season, have been unsettling. I often find myself turning off the news, worried for my children’s future.
A Safe Space
Fortunately, my children have a welcoming environment at school—a small neighborhood institution where diversity flourishes, featuring kids of various skin tones and family structures. However, home remains our only truly safe space. When we venture outside, we frequently encounter curious stares and sometimes even intrusive questions. On occasions when I’m out without my husband, people have asked if I’m familiar with my children’s birth mother. I have the best response: YES! I know her story inside and out! While I understand the curiosity, I’m often taken aback by the lack of discretion.
A dear friend once shared, with an awkward laugh, that while her parents adore my husband, she’s unsure how to break the news that their granddaughter is dating a Black boy and wants to introduce him to them. That’s the crux of the issue for me. I haven’t personally encountered any members of the KKK, despite spending most of my life in the South. Yet, I’ve met countless individuals who admire my husband but would quietly object if their child dated someone Black.
Challenging Assumptions
I can’t provide a solution to change the hearts of those who genuinely believe that one race is inferior to another. I suspect that only a small fraction of people hold this belief. However, I fear that a larger number of individuals, either consciously or unconsciously, harbor negative assumptions about families like ours or about children who resemble my own. Perhaps we can gain some insight if we take a moment to envision a child.
You might see a brown-skinned boy with curly hair and make assumptions about him, his family dynamics, behavior, or even his intelligence. But he’s simply a boy who loves Legos, Star Wars, and creating light sabers from paper towel rolls. Remarkably, he excels academically. His brother, who recently decided to grow an Afro, is a fan of the “Little House on the Prairie” series and can recount every detail of Laura and Mary Ingalls’s adventures. And then there’s our youngest daughter, with her lovely olive skin and soft brown curls—she adores her brothers and cherishes her dolls, both brown and white, as well as the “Thomas the Tank Engine” stories.
Hopes for the Future
While we may not see eye to eye on political matters, Target’s bathroom policy, or the state of race relations, I believe we can all agree that childhood is filled with innocence and wonder. I hope that it’s many years before my children encounter the term “miscegenation” or understand what it means to be labeled a “half-breed.” I wish for every adult they meet to pause and see them without preconceived notions. Most importantly, I hope they grow up in a world that values them based on their character above all else. That’s my hope.
This article was originally published on May 19, 2016.
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In summary, navigating the complexities of race and identity with my biracial children is both challenging and enlightening. I aspire for them to grow up in a world that embraces diversity and values individuals for who they are.