Planning a family road trip is no small feat. You’ve got to load the car with bags, snacks, drinks, toys, and all the electronics everyone wants. Don’t forget your purse, drink, and GPS! Then you cram everyone into what feels like a double bed on wheels and hit the road. As exhilarating as it sounds, the journey can take a turn for the chaotic quite fast. And since it’s against the law to sedate your children, you’ll have to endure their delightful commentary. Here are some of the least enjoyable things they might say during your travels:
- Are we there yet?
I thought this was just a cliché from TV shows, but every road trip proves me wrong. No, sweetheart, we haven’t even left the driveway! - I need to go to the bathroom.
This seems to happen right when you’re in a remote area or just made a pit stop. Buckle up for the nearest sketchy restroom! - I had an accident.
Oops! Looks like a quick stop wasn’t quick enough. Now, your car may smell like a locker room for the rest of the trip. - Can I have a drink?
Sure, just let me figure out how to deliver it to you from the driver’s seat. Oh wait, we’re in the middle of nowhere! - I spilled my drink!
This follows right after the previous request. Now you’re faced with the dilemma of stopping or letting them sit in a sticky puddle. - How much longer?
Your little ones will ask this question thousands of times throughout the trip. By the fifth, you may lose your cool; by the twenty-fifth, you’ll be questioning your life choices. - I need to poop.
Ah, the dreaded poop emergency. Every parent knows this is way worse than pee because of the rituals involved. Get ready for some questionable gas station facilities! - I pooped.
Fantastic! Time to pray you’ve got a spare outfit and open all the windows. - I think the baby needs changing.
The dilemma: do you pull over right away, or do you wait until the next stop? Let’s be honest, you’ll probably choose the latter. - He’s touching me!
Sibling squabbles are now in full swing. This makes for an exhilarating (and exhausting) ride. - He’s staring at me!
You might begin to wonder just how sensitive your child actually is. Hopefully, they can toughen up a bit! - So-and-so has a DVD player!
You decided against a DVD player because you wanted them to appreciate the scenery. How’s that working out for you now? - Can we watch Frozen again?
You could have made them look out the window like you did at their age. This is some self-inflicted agony. - Can I use your phone?
You hand it over, and just like that, your own source of entertainment is gone! No GPS, no music—just chaos. - My tablet is out of battery!
This is the one thing that was keeping them quiet. Why must fate be so cruel? - I forgot my blanket! (sobbing)
Now you’re faced with a dilemma: do you turn back for a comfort item, or do you keep pressing on like a heartless robot? - I took off my shoes.
Why do kids insist on removing their shoes during a car ride? And why do they always lose them? - Can we listen to ‘Frozen’/‘Aladdin’/They Might Be Giants again?
These tunes aren’t just annoying; they become earworms that you can’t escape. - I spilled my fries.
Your guilty pleasure now lives in the crevices of your car. Bonus: now they want more fries! - When are we going home?
Just when you think you’re almost there, they want to head back to where you started. It’s just typical road trip fatigue!
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Summary:
Family road trips can be a delightful bonding experience, but they often come with challenging phrases from kids that test every ounce of patience. From bathroom emergencies to endless questions, these moments can drive parents to their wit’s end. However, with some preparation and a sense of humor, you can navigate these tricky waters and create lasting memories.