When I reflect on my 15-year-old daughter’s early days, I picture her as an adorable little charm. Sure, she wasn’t a perfect sleeper, but aside from that, she was a generally easygoing baby. As a toddler, I could leave her with a basket of board books, and she would flip through each one with delight. Whenever someone asks me about her early years, I describe her as compliant, calm, and full of good cheer.
But as it turns out, my memories might not be entirely accurate. One day, while browsing through a journal I kept during her infancy (you know, those first kids get all the attention), I stumbled upon a line that read: “This kid is the most strong-willed child I’ve ever met.” Wait, what? Perhaps my little angel had a bit of a rebellious side after all.
As I continued to read, I realized my recollections of her early years were a bit hazy. Yes, she could be good-natured and calm, but she also had her moments of tantrums, sleep struggles, and outright defiance. Memories came flooding back—the diaper changes where she refused to stay still, the public meltdowns that left me red-faced, and the sleepless nights that made me question how anyone could survive on such little rest. I’d managed to block out those less-than-pleasant details. I’d essentially developed momnesia—a tendency to forget the more challenging aspects of motherhood.
It’s no secret that motherhood can impact our brains. Over time, the neurons that should be reserved for long-term memories get repurposed for more pressing matters, like answering the endless questions from a curious 4-year-old or figuring out how to make the Wild Kratts theme song stop looping in our heads. As a result, we tend to forget a lot—both short-term and long-term.
And let’s be honest, momnesia tends to worsen with each additional child. The chaotic days filled with newborn cries and toddler tantrums start to blend into a vague memory of “Yes, those early years were tough.” The only reason I remember as much as I do is that I made a lot of notes. Without that, I might still be insisting my firstborn was a perfect angel.
That’s why I often question the validity of claims from seasoned parents who assert their children never engaged in certain behaviors. “My kids never threw tantrums,” “They never woke us up at night,” or “They never begged for toys at the store.” Really? I’m calling that out. Sure, there may be rare exceptions where some kids don’t exhibit certain behaviors, but for the most part, mothers of older kids can’t be entirely trusted when reminiscing about their children’s younger years. Some may deny it, but this is a hill I’m ready to defend.
Just as women often forget the most painful moments of childbirth, many moms gloss over the gritty details of those early parenting years. We tend to view those days through a nostalgic lens, convinced we remember the hard times, even if we don’t recall them in full detail. Not like the mom currently navigating sleepless nights, diaper changes, and endless crying.
So, new moms, take our advice with a pinch of skepticism. While we may offer some valuable insights, if we start claiming our kids were perfect angels who never misbehaved, don’t feel stressed thinking your child is the odd one out. Just nod along and remember that we’re probably dealing with momnesia.
For more engaging content and support, feel free to check out our other blog posts, like this one about home insemination. There are great resources available, such as this excellent guide on pregnancy and insights from CryoBaby.
Summary
This article explores the concept of momnesia, where mothers of older kids forget the more challenging aspects of parenting. It encourages new moms to take advice from seasoned parents with a grain of salt, as their memories may be skewed. It’s a reminder that every child’s experience is unique, and what one parent remembers may not apply to another.