Parks, playgrounds, zoos, museums, and even Mommy and Me classes—there’s an endless array of activities designed to keep kids engaged and social. But here’s the catch: I’m not particularly fond of any of these outings. That’s putting it mildly.
I genuinely try to participate. However, I’m a serious homebody, and what many find enjoyable often leads to my anxiety levels skyrocketing. Occasionally, I’ll muster the energy to take my kids to a public event (and when I say “fun,” I mean they have a blast while I feign enjoyment, counting down the seconds until we can leave). Generally, these outings happen on weekends when my husband can join, or they serve as special treats, like when the kids ace their tests.
As with many parenting choices, this brings on a wave of mom guilt. Just the other day, I found myself enduring a seemingly eternal story time at the library when another mom approached me. “Isn’t this the best?” she exclaimed, her enthusiasm rivaling my love for chocolate. “Wednesdays are our favorite! After the playground, we hit toddler music class, enjoy lunch at that burger joint with an amazing ball pit, and then it’s off to ‘Wild and Wacky Wednesday’ at the petting zoo. Half-price admission!”
“That sounds fantastic!” I said, while inside I was screaming, “That sounds awful!” I managed to add, “Your little one is so fortunate,” because he truly is. Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling of inadequacy as I compared myself to moms like her. Why can’t I be that engaged? My inner critic reminds me of all the ways I fall short (and yes, it even questions why I don’t buy organic bananas).
I need to be kind to myself, though. I have four kids, while she has just one. Coordinating activities for multiple children is a challenge, especially when each has different interests. Time management becomes a real struggle; I simply can’t fit all the demands into my day—between driving the kids to various activities, preparing meals, assisting with homework, and ensuring basic household hygiene, it’s a juggling act. Don’t get me started on the cost of admission fees; with four kids, we’d need a second mortgage just to afford a day out (and I’m already worried about our grocery bills, even without those organic bananas!).
While my children may not be raised by a mother who thrives on constant social outings, they are learning valuable skills at home. I teach them how to whip up pancakes, encourage their experiments with glue and detergent to create “goop,” and take them on nature walks, where we pause to observe an anthill together. The memories we create at home are just as significant and meaningful, even if they differ from the more conventional experiences. And when we do venture out to a museum or play mini-golf, it becomes a memorable occasion rather than just another Wednesday.
Everyone has their preferences—some parents enjoy fishing, some love knitting, and some even choose to go sans underwear! Just as people vary, so do parenting styles. There are those who revel in social activities and those who prefer the comfort of home. And that’s perfectly fine. Ultimately, we are all prone to guilt over our choices, regardless of what we decide to do.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out our blog post here. If you’re looking for authoritative resources, make sure to visit Make a Mom, and check out the Genetics and IVF Institute for valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while I may not be the fun parent who thrives on constant outings, I am providing my children with a rich and meaningful home life filled with love and creativity.