It’s Memorial Day weekend, and here we are at the cabin with family, a time meant for relaxation, gratitude, and remembrance of those who sacrificed for our freedom. My partner has been putting in extra hours at work, and we’ve been eagerly anticipating this trip for weeks. We even bought our twin 2-year-olds their first fishing rods and planned a treasure hunt.
And then there’s me—a walking stress ball, ready to check into a wellness retreat. One of my boys just looked at me and said, “Mommy’s tired.” Yes, Oliver, Mommy is very tired. I do my best to shield my boys from my emotional struggles, but as they grow older, they’re becoming more aware. I can only “fake it ’til I make it” for so long. It’s becoming clear that you don’t need a mental illness to feel overwhelmed; the world can drive anyone to the brink.
I’m serious. We’re all navigating the chaos of parenting, striving to keep our kids safe from the dangers lurking outside. Yet, what happens when the world insists we’re the problem? That we aren’t cautious, aware, or diligent enough?
That was my greatest fear when stepping into motherhood. For most of my life, I was convinced I wouldn’t have children. Given my own childhood and struggles with anxiety, I doubted my capability. The current cultural landscape doesn’t help either, with its endless “rules.” Honestly, by these standards, no one qualifies as an adept parent.
Just the night before we left, I stumbled across an article discussing the worst sunscreens for kids and adults. Of course, the products I had just purchased ranked first and second on that dreaded list. Should I throw them away, wasting $30—a significant sum for us—and buy the “good stuff,” the kind made by fairy-like beings who sprinkle it with love for a hefty price? Or do I apply this supposedly toxic lotion and risk being labeled as a negligent parent?
I’m over it. I’m fatigued—not just from my husband’s long hours or managing twin toddlers who operate at either 0% or 120%, like they’re on some imaginary planet of chaos. I’m exhausted from the barrage of rules: regulations about food, hygiene, clothing, education, development, medication, sleep methods, playtime, friendships, car seats, breastfeeding, screen time… the list goes on.
You can substitute “rules” with “opinions,” “guidelines,” or “beliefs.” It doesn’t matter; I’ve reached my limit. I genuinely wish someone would take their scientific charts and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine.
Over the years of grappling with anxiety and worrying about parenting, I’ve come to realize that I might not be the issue after all. Loving my boys and doing my best to provide for them with the resources I have, without losing my sanity or breaking the bank, is what responsible parenting truly looks like.
I now find myself awake at night, not because of my bipolar disorder or medication, but wondering if I remembered to wash the new clothes we bought for the boys, aware of the potential toxic chemicals they might contain. Can we just agree that everything around us seems to be hazardous? It’s overwhelming!
I long for a single meal with my children, without that nagging voice in my head questioning whether what they’re eating is harmful. I just don’t have the time, in my oh-so-flexible schedule, to research every ingredient on their plates.
I’m not dismissing the importance of being proactive or caring about these issues. I know how vital it is to have a voice, and I genuinely commend those parents who are nailing it. You have my utmost respect.
I’m just tired. Tired of it all. Each night, as I tuck my boys into bed, I see the sweetest, happiest, healthiest kids I’ve ever known. They are the best thing I’ve ever done, and I know I’m getting this right, irrespective of current parenting trends. Sometimes, I wish I lived in a time when I wasn’t bombarded with daily articles.
My father runs a facility for trafficked children in Thailand. Just two weeks ago, they took in a 3-year-old girl—malnourished and unable to speak. Only God knows what she has endured. Meanwhile, we’re stressing about bedtime schedules.
It’s all about perspective. So, share the latest trending articles and studies; I’ll pass for now. Life is already challenging enough. Instead, I’ll soak in every moment with my boys. When I come across headlines like “10 Things You Didn’t Know About the Air You Breathe” or “Did You Know That Opening Your Eyes Can Be Dangerous?” I’ll simply shut my computer and dream about our next camping adventure. Because, frankly, I’m exhausted—really, really exhausted. And I’d rather focus on living each day with my children than worrying about every potential danger.
Thank you, and goodnight.