Updated: November 10, 2017
Originally Published: June 3, 2016
As I strolled across campus with my wife, Sarah, both of us nearing our mid-thirties, I couldn’t help but notice how out of place we seemed. While we didn’t exactly look old, the vibrant college kids around us—decked out in their trendy spring outfits—made me feel like a relic from another era. They dashed past us, their youthful energy palpable, while we took our time, relishing each step together.
This is Sarah’s last semester in college, a journey that has seen her balance her studies on and off for nearly five years. She attends the same university where I work, mostly taking online courses until now when she wraps up her degree with on-campus classes.
To make things work, we found a lovely woman from our church to watch our kids during Sarah’s classes. Twice a week, we carve out moments to meet for lunch, share a quick kiss in my office, or, like today, walk together through the campus.
With Sarah’s classes and my full-time job, our time together is scarce. When we do find a moment, it’s usually in the whirlwind of parenting—kids needing snacks, squabbles breaking out, or the endless cycle of diaper changes. So, the little snippets of time we steal—be it an hour or just 15 minutes—become precious. Walking hand in hand, chatting about life, feels refreshing amidst the chaos of our everyday responsibilities.
When I envisioned marriage, I didn’t quite picture this. My parents had a rocky relationship that ended in divorce when I was young, so I lacked a clear picture of what a healthy partnership looked like. Yet here we are, a couple in our thirties, over a decade into marriage, savoring brief moments on a bustling college campus, and realizing how significant those few seconds of quiet togetherness can be.
This is the reality of being married with young children: two people deeply in love, navigating the complexities of life, supporting each other through education, careers, and family. It’s a mix of chaos, late-night Googling for answers, and negotiating the challenges of sleep deprivation, intimacy, and finances. But sometimes, it’s simply two people enjoying a stroll, reminiscing like students who know each other all too well, relishing the tranquility that comes with being together.
Our conversations vary; we touch on our children, her classes, and my work. I often share tips on navigating university life, while she kindly points out minor wardrobe malfunctions. Occasionally, as students pass by, I wonder if they view us as outdated. I often hear comments from younger colleagues urging me to “get with the times,” especially when I admit my confusion over social media like Snapchat. In those moments, I long to share the beauty of our simple walk together—an experience devoid of chaos, where no one screamed or lost a shoe. Just me and Sarah, savoring a peaceful 15 minutes.
Perhaps this is why we seem out of place among the youthful crowd. We’ve come to appreciate the value of quiet moments together. Our priorities have shifted from chasing trends to cherishing the simple act of being together. It may feel at times that marriage restricts freedom, but in reality, it aligns your priorities, guiding you to value the time spent hand in hand, smiling, and talking.
After our stroll, I dropped Sarah off at our minivan, parked close to a lifted truck and a flashy sports car. We shared a kiss. “Thanks for the walk,” I remarked, half-joking about how it was the highlight of my day. But truthfully, it was the best part for entirely different reasons.
“Anytime. I love you,” she replied, and we kissed again, perhaps longer than necessary since the kids weren’t around to react. As we parted, I noticed two college girls watching us, likely thinking we were an odd sight—two “old” people sharing a tender moment in a parking lot. I offered a sheepish smile, silently conveying, “One day, you’ll understand.”
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