Updated: May 6, 2021
Originally Published: June 4, 2016
My pediatrician rarely challenges my parenting choices, but during our appointments, I often find myself fabricating answers. I don’t even hesitate to stretch the truth because I’ve learned that honesty can lead me down a frustrating path. So, I adeptly navigate our visits, ensuring we’re in and out before my kids can touch the communal toys that likely host a variety of germs.
I often misrepresent my children’s eating habits, sleep routines, and even how diligently I follow the pediatrician’s advice on vitamin D drops. I know what he wants to hear, and I deliver those perfect responses, giving the appearance of a “supermom.” After three kids, I’ve got this down to a science.
It’s not that I care about impressing the pediatrician; I simply don’t have the time or energy to endure a lecture about co-sleeping or balanced meals. Having raised three children, I feel empowered to make informed choices, and I’m done worrying about sticking rigidly to the guidelines at this stage in my life.
The Early Days of Parenting
When my first child arrived, I was constantly seeking validation from his pediatrician. I wanted him to hit every developmental milestone on time, meticulously following each guideline. I stressed over every minor deviation from what was deemed “normal,” bending over backward to fit him into the mold of an ideal child.
I got rid of the Baby Einstein DVDs my mother found at a garage sale and focused solely on age-appropriate toys. I talked to him incessantly, even when I felt I was losing my mind. After late-night feedings, I put him back in his crib without blankets, only to wake him up and deal with hours of crying. I pushed rice cereal and homemade baby food on him, often in tears over how little he consumed while he lingered in the 10th percentile.
For nearly two years, I was a bundle of anxiety over things that ultimately didn’t matter. My child was growing up just fine, despite not adhering strictly to the pediatrician’s recommendations. I was overreacting for no good reason.
Finding Confidence in Parenting
By the time my daughter came along, I began to feel more confident in my parenting skills. I wasn’t reliant on the pediatrician for every answer. I had learned that my kids could thrive even when I didn’t follow the conventional rules. I allowed for some trial and error with her. When she rejected baby food, I supplemented with bottles until she was ready to self-feed. When she didn’t follow a typical napping schedule, we adjusted until we found what suited her best.
Despite not adhering to the guidelines, she grew up healthy, cheerful, and thriving in ways my son hadn’t when I tried to force him into a predefined routine. I recognized that our differences in sleeping, eating, and growing were completely acceptable, and we needed to discover what worked for our family.
A New Perspective
Now, with my third child, I’ve shifted my view of the pediatrician’s advice from an absolute mandate to a set of suggestions. I understand why he adheres to a strict model of what a healthy childhood should look like, but I also know my kids will never fit neatly into every category. Our family is unique, and our needs differ from one another. While the pediatrician may prefer everyone to fit into a tidy chart, I’ve realized that my children’s individual variations are not worth my sleepless nights.
I ensure that my choices are safe, weighing the risks and benefits carefully. I’ve made decisions that diverge from the pediatrician’s recommendations, such as co-sleeping with my youngest and allowing more screen time than he would endorse. I also follow some of his guidelines, like avoiding processed foods and maintaining early bedtimes.
For the sake of my peace of mind, I sometimes choose to withhold certain details during our visits—I’d rather avoid a debate with the doctor. I understand the reasoning behind his advice, but I also know what works best for my family. As long as my kids are healthy and thriving, a little white lie at the doctor’s office isn’t going to hurt anyone. For more insights on parenting, you can check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, my journey through parenting has taught me the importance of trusting my instincts over adhering strictly to pediatrician advice. Each child is unique, and as long as they are healthy and happy, I’ve learned that sometimes it’s okay to bend the rules.