After a long, exhausting day, you’re finally at the grocery store, and your toddler has decided that the floor is an ideal stage for a meltdown over a candy. Just as you feel like you’re about to lose it, a seemingly seasoned parent strolls by, flashes a knowing smile, and says, “You’re going to miss this.”
In the realm of parenting, those five words rarely offer genuine comfort. I may not be a parenting expert, but I do have three kids at various stages of their childhood. And here’s the reality: You probably won’t miss these moments, and there’s no need to feel guilty about it.
Sure, you’ll long for those sweet times at every age. There will be fleeting moments that tug at your heartstrings, like wishing you could relive them just once more, but don’t let this overwhelm you.
I often think back to when my children were snug little infants, perfectly swaddled in my arms. I would love to revisit those days—just for a day—but only if they come with their best behavior. The past can keep those chaotic moments of multiple diaper disasters in a single outing, sleepless nights filled with teething cries, and the agony of separation anxiety. I want those precious babies back on their best days—the ones who barely cried, devoured their meals, cuddled like champs, and slept a solid 10 hours. That’s the baby I yearn for.
As for toddlers? Let’s be honest—many of those memories can be quite challenging. My first child was a notorious nibbler at daycare, and all three of my little boys mastered the art of sleep refusal. It was a “gift,” in the most cursed sense.
The past can keep all the incident reports I had to fill out after my feisty toddler took a bite out of a friend. It can also hold onto those endless nights of putting my determined toddler back in bed countless times. I don’t miss those struggles, but I do miss the first words, the first steps, and those moments when they found joy in the simplest things. I would gladly relive one of those days in a heartbeat.
Now, with my boys aged 5, 6, and 8, I find joy in our current stage, and I embrace every moment we share. There are days when nostalgia creeps in, and I wish I had savored those fleeting instances a little more. The beauty of parenting lies in the fact that you can never truly cherish enough. You’ll always crave more of those golden days—when everything aligns, and the baby naps, stays clean, and giggles more than he cries. Such days do exist, and they are well-earned.
What I’m trying to convey is this: Don’t let guilt wash over you for not missing every single aspect of parenting. Not everything is meant to be cherished. I treasure the unique moments with my children, even those that left me sleep-deprived, in tears, or surrounded by chaos at the end of the day. I miss pieces of their growth, yet I also breathe a sigh of relief as we move past certain stages, and that’s absolutely okay.
The essence of parenthood is learning to love your children through both their best and worst times. If you find yourself missing something, it’s likely because you treasured it. So, if you don’t miss this, that’s perfectly alright.
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