Hey there, Mama! How are you really holding up? You might say you’re doing fine, but I can sense that’s not the whole truth. And you know what? That’s completely okay. I’m not fine either.
In fact, I don’t think I’ve met a single mom who’s truly “fine.” Perhaps it’s time we retire that word from our conversations. Most days, motherhood presents us with a whirlwind of extremes—unimaginable joy and overwhelming frustration, love that fills us to the brim and fatigue that weighs us down.
These shifting tides can take a toll, even the joyful moments. This constant oscillation can leave you feeling what my favorite writer, Sarah Lewis, refers to as “soul-weary.” If you’re not prioritizing self-care, motherhood can indeed make you soul-weary.
I know what you’re thinking: taking care of yourself seems like just another item on your never-ending to-do list. And how can you focus on yourself when little ones depend on you? It can feel impossible. You feel drained. There’s just nothing left for you.
Please hear me, Mama. I’ve walked that path. I’ve been there—crying alongside my baby, sleepless and overwhelmed. I’ve stared out at the chaos of my living room, questioning how I got here. I’ve felt the fraying of my nerves and wondered if I might truly break. I’ve even battled the thought of walking out the door and keeping on.
What I’ve discovered throughout my years of parenting is that this urge to escape shouldn’t be suppressed; it should be embraced. Motherhood is a beautiful mess of wonder and difficulty. But when the challenges overshadow the magic, it’s time to step back and take a break. In fact, it’s long overdue. You’re feeling drained for a reason because that’s exactly what you are.
You might be thinking, “But I love my children!” and feeling guilty about needing a break. Here’s the reality: Love is infinite, but energy is not. Love fuels you, while energy keeps the engine running. Without energy, even the deepest love can’t propel you forward. You might find yourself stuck, knowing you should be moving, but feeling completely incapable. It’s crucial to recharge, and ideally, you should do it before you hit rock bottom.
Now, you may not want to hear this, but recharging as a mother usually means stepping away from your kids. Sorry, it’s just the way it is. You can’t refuel your car while you’re driving it! You might think you’re doing your kids a favor by being “on” all the time, but in reality, you’re not. You’re present, but not truly engaged.
Believe me when I say your children need you to take this time for yourself. They deserve a mom who isn’t running on empty. They need you to be full of love and energy, so you can truly enjoy being present with them.
I understand that this might feel overwhelming, but here’s the silver lining: it doesn’t take much to recharge. Just as it takes mere minutes to fill up your car, a short break can rejuvenate your spirit. You don’t need a weekend away—just an hour or two for yourself can make a world of difference. Go grab a coffee, visit a bookstore, or indulge in a spa day. Whatever makes you feel like you! Don’t hesitate to take a nap if that’s what you need.
If finding childcare is a challenge, consider joining a local moms’ group. If the first one you try doesn’t click, don’t give up—there are plenty out there waiting to be discovered. Call local churches, community centers, or even search for “mom groups” in your area. Just one kindred spirit to swap childcare with can change everything.
Whatever you do, don’t let the feelings of frustration and exhaustion define your motherhood journey. Yes, there will be tough times, but if you’re feeling like you’re teetering on the edge of a cliff, that’s your cue to step back and take a breather. You’ll be amazed at how a little self-care can refresh your perspective on motherhood.
The most significant barrier to overcome is the notion that good moms don’t need breaks. Regular pauses will prevent you from reaching your breaking point. Good moms ensure that the woman behind the mother is well taken care of. So do it for yourself, and for your kids—fuel up, Mama. It’ll transform you into a happier, more fulfilled mother.
For more insights on this journey, check out our other blog posts, like this one about home insemination kit terms. If you’re exploring fertility options, Make a Mom offers valuable information. Don’t forget to visit ASRM for additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, taking time for yourself is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity. Prioritizing your well-being is crucial for both you and your children. Embrace those moments of respite to recharge and rediscover the joy of motherhood.