Updated: Aug. 1, 2016
Originally Published: June 7, 2016
At Stanford University, a deeply troubling incident occurred earlier this year when a young man assaulted an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. This horrific act is a stark reminder of how harmful behaviors can begin at a surprisingly young age.
Around the same time, my 11-year-old daughter received her first cellphone. Shortly after, I overheard a boy yell at her through the phone, “I just want you to know that I think you’re a stupid jerk!” I was taken aback.
The victim of the Stanford incident woke up in a hospital, disoriented and traumatized, with no memory of the assault. It took her weeks to confide in anyone about her experience. When I spoke to my daughter about the boy’s call, she shrugged it off, claiming that such insults are common among kids her age. She insisted it didn’t bother her, and she was reluctant to discuss it further.
In a poignant reflection on the Stanford case, the perpetrator’s father infamously remarked, “This is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action.” His comments echo a disturbing trend where young boys receive minimal consequences for harmful behavior.
When I reached out to the boy’s parents, the father suggested we let the children handle it themselves. “He feels bad enough,” he said, dismissing the gravity of the situation. Meanwhile, the mother promised to call back but never did.
During the trial, the defense scrutinized the victim’s past, including her clothing and alcohol consumption, questioning her consent. Such attitudes raise alarming concerns about how society often places blame on victims rather than holding offenders accountable.
When the judge sentenced the young man to only six months in jail, citing concern for his future, it underscored a troubling message.
I reported the incident to my daughter’s school, but the counselor downplayed the seriousness, suggesting that boys often mimic what they see in media without understanding the implications.
This is where rape culture takes root. It begins early and often goes unnoticed until it manifests in devastating ways. It is crucial that we take action now—educate our sons about respect, encourage young men to listen to and protect women, and ensure that justice is served appropriately.
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In summary, recognizing the early signs of rape culture is vital. We must actively engage in discussions with our children, fostering an environment of respect and accountability. By doing so, we can work towards preventing the normalization of harmful behaviors that lead to serious consequences.