I know this might sound shocking, but I’m not a fan of taking my kids to the pool. Yes, I said it. I realize that this might paint me as a less-than-stellar parent, but hear me out. Summer is typically filled with visions of flip-flops, chlorine, and the scent of sunscreen, right? But if you’re a parent of little ones, you probably understand that the energy and effort it takes to get to the pool are far from worth the experience once you’re there.
Everywhere I go, I see other moms eagerly talking about how much fun they’re going to have at the pool or, heaven forbid, the beach. What secret do they know that I’m missing? I’m sorry, but the pool experience? It’s just not for me.
A Trip to the Pool
Last week, I briefly lost my sanity and thought a trip to the pool might be the perfect way to kick off summer. The pool opens at 11 a.m., so preparations started at 10. First up: the sunscreen fiasco. This is where you have to round up your kids, strip them down, and apply cream to their wiggly bodies to protect them from the sun’s harsh rays. It’s recommended to do this at least 20-30 minutes before heading outdoors, but my kids are not fans of this process, and it often leads to a battle. The slippery sunscreen only adds to the chaos.
Of course, I’m already dressed in my finest postpartum swimwear (wink wink) and have slathered myself in SPF 50. I can’t reach my back, but hey, anything for the kids, right? I also need to pack an array of snacks and drinks so we can stay at the pool longer than 45 minutes. Ideally, I want something healthy and easy to eat without utensils—organic carrot sticks and homemade hummus sound perfect! I shove those into my lightweight cooler, knowing I’m the only adult in this delightful escapade.
Arrival at the Pool
Finally, we arrive at the pool. I unbuckle car seats and grab my purse, diaper bag, slow-moving toddler, and cooler, making my way across the scorching asphalt toward the shining oasis: The Pool. After handing my passes to the teenage gatekeeper, who quizzes me about the swim diapers I’ve brought, we’re finally in.
Can we take a moment to discuss swim diapers? They’re a joke! Supposedly, they let your child pee or even poop without contaminating the pool water. But all toddler moms know that they can barely handle one tiny pee before they’re done for. So, naturally, I wait until the last minute to put it on.
Once inside, I quickly scan the crowded area and see there’s only one lounge chair left. The kids scramble for it, and we all huddle together on the hot plastic to unpack our gear. Towels come out, shoes come off, swim diapers go on, and sunscreen is reapplied before I finally give them the green light to jump into the water.
Adult Swim Time
And here’s where the fun really begins. Just five minutes into the swimming, the whistle blows: it’s adult swim time. Seriously? At 11 a.m. on a Tuesday? The only adults in the pool are moms with non-swimming toddlers clinging to their sagging one-pieces. We all pull our kids out and exchange eye rolls, waiting for the break to end.
After repeating this whole scene—and applying sunscreen at least one more time—it’s already noon. Time for snacks and a potty break. Getting my three-year-old’s swim diaper off and back on again is a test of patience. Oh, and what’s that expression on my 18-month-old’s face? Oh no. Noooooo! She’s pooping in her swim diaper. Fantastic! Now I need to wrangle both kids and the diaper bag into the cramped pool bathroom, remove a wet swimsuit from my little one, manage my curious toddler (“do not touch anything!”), clean her up, and put on a fresh swim diaper. And have I mentioned how humid it gets in those tiny bathrooms? It feels drier in the Amazon.
Time to Go Home
Two hours into this adventure, I’m ready to throw in the towel. While other moms with older kids may just toss them a towel and head back to the car, a toddler mom has to gear up for naptime. I change the kids out of their swimsuits (and swim diapers, of course) and get them dressed again. As for me? I’ll just deal with a wet bottom in the car.
Finally, we’re home 15 minutes later, and the little ones are asleep in the car. I carry them to their beds and collapse on the couch, my hair a mess and my cover-up clinging to my sunburned back. I hope for long naps and drift off into dreamland alongside them.
Conclusion
So, if you ever invite me and my crew to the pool, please don’t take it personally when I decline. We’ll be having fun in the sprinkler for the rest of the summer! For more tips on home insemination and parenting, check out this excellent resource and explore this article on our blog. Also, if you’re curious about home insemination kits, you can find more information here.
In summary, the pool experience can be quite the undertaking for parents of young children. While summer brings excitement for many, the effort required often outweighs the enjoyment. With sunscreen battles, swim diaper struggles, and the chaos of keeping toddlers entertained, it’s understandable why some moms prefer to skip the pool and opt for simpler summer fun at home.