As I inch closer to my thirtieth birthday, I’ve noticed an uptick in questions surrounding parenthood—from my family, friends, and even random strangers. And yes, my mom is definitely among the curious. While my partner and I do plan to have kids eventually, the timeline remains uncertain, especially since we’ve recently settled into a new house after living in four different states over the past four years.
After nearly four years of marriage, it seems that the societal expectation is to have kids shortly after the wedding. Sure, some couples choose that path, and that’s perfectly fine. However, for us, it’s just not the right time yet. Each individual has their own reasons for delaying or opting out of parenthood—whether due to personal choice, challenges with conception, or simply not feeling ready. Regardless, I often find myself on the receiving end of these rather unwelcome remarks:
- “When I was your age, I already had 2/3/6 kids!”
Great! I’ve explored Europe and traveled extensively across the U.S. I get it—parenting looks rewarding, but I imagine it’s a bit easier without little ones in tow. - “You seem like a natural with that baby. Maybe it’s time for your own!”
Well, I didn’t drop it, so clearly, I’m fully prepared for parenthood, huh? - “Let me share this terrifying story about my childbirth experience…”
Oh, please, do share! I’m sure it’ll inspire me to reconsider having kids. Just kidding—I’d much rather talk about how my dog once scratched me, which, honestly, was pretty painful. - “You’re not getting any younger.”
Okay, fair point. But neither are you! - “Your future kids will be adorable!”
If they aren’t, can we return them? I get it—half-Asian and half-white equals cute in your eyes. - “Are you next?”
Um, I don’t control everyone’s reproductive plans, so how would I know? - “Having a dog isn’t the same as having a child.”
Thank goodness! At least my dog can be left alone for a few hours, unlike a baby, who requires constant supervision. - “You’ve handled a puppy; a baby will be a breeze!”
Seriously? You can’t have it both ways! - “Can’t you hear your biological clock ticking?”
Not really. I’m usually listening to music, so maybe it’s just out of tune. - “So, when will you have a baby?”
Not anytime soon, that’s for sure. But you’ll be among the last to hear the news, so no worries—you’ll meet the little one before they head off to college!
Let’s be real: these comments can be quite uncomfortable, especially for those who are still navigating their choices about parenthood. It’s important to be sensitive to others’ journeys, regardless of your own experiences. (Moms are exempt from this, of course, because they’ll ask whatever they want, and that’s just part of the deal. Hi, Mom!)
If you’re curious about the journey toward parenthood, check out resources like Resolve’s guide on intrauterine insemination or discover more about fertility options at Make A Mom. And if you’re interested in home insemination, you can explore this informative post for guidance.
In summary, approaching 30 and being childless can lead to unsolicited comments that can feel intrusive. Everyone has their path, and it’s essential to respect individual choices regarding parenthood.