I find myself among the fortunate few. My privilege is practically dripping from my well-educated, middle-class self. Yet, as I sit down to write about the insufficient paid family leave available in our country, I can’t help but feel a twinge of frustration.
I am privileged because my employer is required to provide me with at least the foundational unpaid leave under FMLA. I am fortunate to receive three weeks of paid leave. Additionally, I had the option to extend my unpaid leave after FMLA expired due to special circumstances. While my job security was uncertain during this time, I’m grateful to work with a supportive team.
I thought I had everything planned out. Like many in my position, I saved money in advance and strategically timed my pregnancy to minimize daycare expenses, covering the unpaid period of my maternity leave. I intended to take the standard 12 weeks off during our slower season.
Then my son, Oliver, arrived two months early after I spent a fortnight in the hospital. I found myself wrapping up my maternity leave just one month after he left the hospital. I was fortunate to have the option of extending my unpaid leave, enabling me to stay home without the pressure of returning to work while he was still hospitalized. Unfortunately, many mothers face the daunting challenge of balancing a NICU baby and job responsibilities simultaneously. For them, if they’re lucky, they might squeeze in some maternity leave when their baby finally comes home.
So, what’s the issue?
Despite my good fortune, I looked at my year-end pay stub and noticed I earned 20% less than the previous year. Like many women, I returned from maternity leave with no sick or vacation days remaining. Oh, and yes, I’m fortunate to have those benefits in the first place. I dropped my tiny baby off at daycare—a place that can feel overwhelming—and headed to work, all while coping with the emotional toll of his premature birth.
I’m sure you can guess what happened next. I had doctor’s appointments for myself, and Oliver had his own. He became sick, and soon the rest of us were too. Regardless of how “responsible” I tried to be, I found myself constantly drained of sick leave.
Last week, Oliver contracted respiratory syncytial virus, followed by bronchiolitis. I spent a harrowing night at Duke University Hospital, holding him as he struggled to breathe. I was left with only six hours of sick time, and now I’m down to zero. I was only compensated for 28 hours last week. Yet, I remind myself: I’m lucky.
I’m lucky to have a job that accommodates these challenges. I’m lucky that I still have my position.
It’s true that things could be much worse. Other parents have to choose between keeping their job and being with their sick child in the hospital. Some parents are forced to return to work mere days after giving birth, driven by the need to support their families. Many children experience delays in necessary healthcare because their parents can’t afford to take time off without risking their employment.
The ability to care for our children—or our partners or parents—shouldn’t be considered a stroke of luck. It should be a given. Some may argue that if we weren’t prepared for the potential consequences, we shouldn’t have had children; that having children is a choice. I reject this line of thinking.
The complexities of this issue are vast, and I can’t cover every angle here. The costs of healthcare, daycare, and the absence of adequate parental leave all intertwine to forge a society that neglects the very children who will one day contribute to our tax base. The notion that 12 weeks of unpaid leave is sufficient for bonding with a newborn—especially one born prematurely—is woefully inadequate. We are investing our tax dollars and emotional resources into a system that ultimately fails to support our future generations.
To sum up:
- My baby arrived early.
- I experienced a 20% decrease in income last year.
- I spent last week caring for my baby as he faced breathing difficulties.
- I feel fortunate to still have my job.
- We need to rethink what we consider “luck.”
For a deeper dive into home insemination topics, you can check out this resource. If you’re looking for expert advice, this link is a reliable resource. Additionally, for further information on fertility and pregnancy, you can visit Johns Hopkins Medicine.