Updated: June 19, 2016
Can we take a moment to be real with one another? I’m exhausted. You’re exhausted. We’re both surrounded by a sea of snack crumbs, toy clutter, and an overwhelming sense of guilt. So let’s drop the facades for a second.
Motherhood can feel like an endless uphill battle. No matter what choices we make, there’s always someone ready to criticize, armed with their opinions on how we’re not measuring up in this parenting game. Each day seems to bring a new “Mommy War” to navigate and another online debate to endure. Why can’t we just get a break and be left alone? I want to shout this almost every single day! We are truly doing our best!
Yet, often, we are the harshest judges of ourselves. We criticize one another and heap guilt upon ourselves, hoping to reach the high standards set by others. We are bombarded with messages telling us we’re falling short or that our parenting methods are flawed. You know what? I’m getting a little hoarse from telling those negative voices to just back off.
I need your support. I know you’re also fed up with the nonsense, and perhaps if we yell “enough is enough” together, we can make a real difference.
Motherhood is challenging enough without the extra stress of imaginary Mommy Wars and comparisons. Can we agree to disagree and move on? Can we stop the judging and the sniping at each other? And for heaven’s sake, can we just end the madness?
We both want the best for our children and our families. We’re both tired—and honestly, we’re far too mature for this drama.
So here’s my suggestion: let’s stop the comparisons and the endless debates. Let’s banish the word “versus” from our motherhood vocabulary. Enough with the breast versus bottle, sleep training versus co-sleeping, and helicopter parenting versus free-range parenting. There’s no single “right” way to raise kids, but countless good ways.
We need to remind ourselves that we don’t know what’s best for someone else’s family. What works for one might not work for another. We’re all swimming in guilt and “shoulds,” so let’s cut each other—and ourselves—some slack. We’re doing the best we can, and even if we aren’t perfect, we’re doing good enough. And good enough is really good enough.
Let’s get off this exhausting treadmill of more, bigger, better. I’m not one to reminisce about the “good old days,” but the pressure to keep up with the Joneses is out of control. Birthday favor bags, elaborate holiday celebrations, and themed parties—it’s all become overwhelming. Honestly, what’s the point? We don’t need another bag of cheap plastic toys that our kids will squabble over. We don’t need to scroll through Pinterest endlessly or rack up credit card debt for a party that will be forgotten in a flash. If you love planning themed events, that’s fantastic, but let’s be real—our kids don’t care if their cake resembles a cartoon character or if the cupcakes are perfectly frosted.
So can we stop the mindless chatter about our kids’ sports, grades, and screen time? I, for one, couldn’t care less if your child is excelling in advanced math, and you probably don’t need to know what sports my son plays. We’re both already grappling with enough guilt about screen time, so let’s not add to it. Instead, let’s focus on getting to know each other. How are you really doing? And let’s be honest instead of giving the usual “I’m fine” response.
Let’s strive to be No-Drama Mamas. Our kids need us to support them, but let’s not get entangled in their minor squabbles. If Susie says something about your daughter’s hair or Danny teases your son, let it go. The kids will forget in moments, and so should we.
And about this mommy martyrdom? No, just NOPE. No medals are awarded for trying to do it all. If you let some things slide—like the dishes in the sink or sending store-bought treats to school—nothing catastrophic will happen. Life will continue, your children will still be happy, and you might find yourself a little happier too.
Instead of getting caught up in this cycle, let’s assume good intentions, support one another, and embrace the ups and downs of parenting. We all know it’s tough—really tough at times—but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Our kids, despite their quirks, are remarkable. So let’s ditch the competitive parenting mindset and put down our defenses.
Let’s lift each other up and celebrate the unique journey of motherhood. Because together, we are truly rocking this parenting thing!