Guiding Our Children Toward Love, Not Hate

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For reasons that often elude us, humanity has yet to master the art of coexisting peacefully. People inflict pain on one another for motives many of us will never comprehend. Unfortunately, this is a reality we must confront with our children. As a parent, this truth is daunting, particularly for kids like my youngest son, who experiences anxiety.

At just eight years old, he often finds himself overwhelmed, even during something as simple as an episode of a talent show. His compassionate nature is evident, making him a caring and open-hearted individual with the potential to create meaningful change. However, this same sensitivity makes him vulnerable to hurt and disappointment. Naturally, my instinct is to shield him—it’s what mothers do.

When the devastating news of the tragedy in Orlando broke, my first impulse was to protect him from it. I yearned to preserve his innocence and avoid the tears and sleepless nights that would likely follow. Parenting through such heart-wrenching events can be exhausting, and I questioned whether I was prepared for the challenge.

Then, I overheard him talking to another child—a much older one—who shared the gruesome, albeit mostly inaccurate, details of the incident. This prompted my son to seek answers from me, the person he trusts most. I will admit, I considered deflecting his questions, downplaying the situation, and telling him not to worry. But it was too significant to ignore, and frankly, he should be concerned. We all should be, especially our children.

They are the ones who will grow up in a world where people are not safe simply because of who they love. They will witness violence against others without regard for human life, and we, as adults, must prepare them for this reality. I want him to understand that his mother not only advocates for love, acceptance, and equality but also stands up for these principles.

I want him to grasp the importance of bravery, the value of pride, and the impact of compassion. I want him to feel empowered amid chaos and recognize that what happened was unjust, and that silence is not an option. Therefore, we sat down and talked—about as much as he could understand and as much as I could explain.

I told him that the man who committed this act didn’t only harm those individuals; he hurt all of us. This fight belongs to everyone, and if any group cannot be free, then none of us truly are. We must strive to do better—each of us can contribute to change.

Here are some ways we can guide our children in understanding tragedies like Orlando and how they can help:

1. Educate Yourself
   Stay informed about current events and the broader context surrounding them. This goes beyond just watching the news; it means becoming an advocate so your children can follow suit. Spend time learning about LGBTQ issues in America. I’ll admit, I often find myself reeducating, seeking understanding beyond my own experiences. It’s not enough to say, “I have a gay friend.” Real advocacy requires effort. I want my children to know what terms like “queer” and “transgender” mean, and to understand that these individuals are not to be feared.
2. Engage in Conversations
   Discuss not only the tragedy but also the ongoing struggles for safety, acceptance, and the value of life. Distinguish between acceptance and mere tolerance, and explain why events like this are wrong. Trust is key; your children need to know they can rely on you for honest conversations, even when you’re unable to share every detail. Many children are ready for more information than we often assume.
3. Focus on What Matters
   Avoid letting this be an opportunity to criticize others’ lifestyles. Instead, use it to educate and uplift.
4. Encourage Giving
   My son understands the power of money in effecting positive change. He offered to donate $28 from his birthday money to organizations supporting Orlando. At his age, that’s a significant contribution. I’m matching his donation, and if you’re interested, you can also give to worthy causes.
5. Promote Love Over Hate
   My son and I brainstormed ways for children to show their support, regardless of whether they have money to donate. He came up with the idea of creating art—he drew pictures and came up with uplifting messages. He believes kids can make hearts or flags to express their love and support, sharing them with the hashtag #ChooseLoveProject. The more we spread love, kindness, and understanding, the stronger our collective message against hate becomes. Ultimately, that’s what my son desires—more love and less hate for everyone.

This piece was originally published on June 21, 2016.

If you’re looking for more insights, feel free to check out our other blogs on home insemination, like this one on artificial insemination, and explore resources like BabyMaker’s home insemination syringe kit to further your understanding.

Summary:

In a world fraught with violence and misunderstanding, it’s essential for parents to guide their children toward empathy, love, and action. By educating ourselves, engaging in open conversations, and encouraging acts of kindness and support, we can empower the next generation to face the challenges of tomorrow with courage and compassion.