“How have you been?” my friend asks me over the phone, thousands of miles away. “I’m okay!” I reply. “Busy, but okay.”
That’s my standard response when people inquire about my well-being. Most of us have a similar go-to answer, right? Something like “Fine,” “Okay,” or “Great.” While it’s true that I’m generally fine — or at least I like to think so — it’s a bit more nuanced than that. It’s not like I’m in the midst of a crisis or considering drastic measures. I find joy in daily moments, I often reflect on my blessings, and I strive for gratitude.
But “okay” is such a vague term. What does it signify? Just getting by? Thriving? Or simply “not terrible”? It’s essentially a non-answer — a socially acceptable way to sidestep the inquiry and pivot to another topic.
What Lies Beneath
But what if we were brutally honest when asked how we are? When I say, “I’m okay,” there are countless emotions swirling beneath the surface, including:
- I’m so exhausted that I’m contemplating a coffee IV drip.
- If I hear one more child complain about dinner, I might just lose it.
- I constantly worry that I’m failing my kids.
- I feel like I’m juggling multiple glass balls, and no one taught me how.
- My love for my children is so intense that I sometimes wonder if it’s healthy.
- I think my brain might actually combust one day.
- I’m worried about everything — my kids, work, finances, the state of the world, and even my cat who has a habit of misbehaving.
- I sometimes shed tears in the shower.
- I’m in awe of my kids as they grow and learn.
- I had a good night’s sleep, and now I feel like I could conquer anything.
- I adore my kids more than anything, yet I sometimes fantasize about escaping.
- I’m desperately trying to balance being a mother, wife, sister, daughter, employee, artist, and individual all at once.
- I don’t remember who I was before parenthood, but I occasionally miss that person.
- The thought of my children growing up is gut-wrenching.
Even when I feel happy and grateful, there’s always a current of complex emotions tied to motherhood beneath the surface. Worry, fatigue, overwhelming love, and conflicting desires — it’s a whirlwind of feelings churning inside. Sometimes these feelings bubble over, often during my quiet moments in the shower, or they might erupt unexpectedly after the kids are tucked in bed. I always feel this emotional river flowing within me.
Sharing Our Truths
Should we share these feelings with others? I believe we should, especially with close friends and fellow moms. We all experience the turbulent emotions of parenting and often wonder if we’re alone in our chaotic thoughts. If we don’t share our truths, we risk feeling isolated in our struggles.
On the flip side, do people really want to hear our raw truths? I’m not sure. What I do know is that “I’m okay” barely scratches the surface. Perhaps, when a friend asks how I’m doing, I could simply say, “I’m a mom,” and let that speak volumes. For those of us on this journey, that really encapsulates everything.
Further Reading
If you’re interested in exploring more about the journey of motherhood and home insemination, check out this insightful resource on how to navigate these experiences. Additionally, you can find valuable information about pregnancy that can help you along the way.
Summary
The expression “I’m okay” often masks a complex mix of emotions that mothers experience daily. While we generally respond with a simple affirmation, there’s a world of feelings underneath — from exhaustion and worry to overwhelming love for our children. Sharing these truths can foster connections with other parents, allowing us to feel less alone in our chaotic lives.