As a parent, my to-do list is practically endless, with most tasks revolving around my children. From being their chauffeur and housekeeper to acting as their therapist and pediatrician, I wear many hats. However, one role I refuse to take on is that of a short-order cook. With everything else on my plate (pun intended), I simply don’t have the time or energy for that!
When it comes to meals—be it breakfast, lunch, or dinner—my approach is straightforward: “eat it or starve.” Of course, if my kids had particular dietary restrictions or food-related sensory issues, I would adapt. But they don’t. So, if they turn their noses up at what I’ve prepared, that’s their choice. They can opt to skip the meal, but that means they’ll be hungry. It’s that simple.
I believe they are lucky to have a mom dedicated to cooking nutritious meals and providing a variety of options. So, after all the effort I put into meal planning and cooking, they’re definitely going to try what’s on their plates. At our table, we have a rule: no plate pushing without a “no-thank-you taste”—just one bite of everything. More often than not, that single taste is enough to convince them that dinner isn’t as “yucky” as they initially thought.
Any parent knows that mealtime can often feel like a circus, particularly in those early years when you’re cutting food into tiny pieces and pouring milk, all while juggling napkins and second helpings. By the time you finally sit down to eat, your own meal is often cold. I’m not about to complicate things further by preparing separate dinners for each child. Why should I let my carefully made meal suffer while I cater to their whims? Nope, not happening.
The eat-it-or-starve approach has surprisingly reduced picky eating behaviors. Are there foods they refuse to eat? Absolutely; they’re kids, after all. But limiting their choices to what I serve has encouraged them to try—and even enjoy—things they might have otherwise ignored. From tofu to fried calamari, and curry to colcannon, there’s a world of flavors they’ve discovered. And if they don’t like something today? Well, there’s always the next meal.
Now, it might sound a bit harsh, but trust me, there’s no actual starving involved in the eat-it-or-starve philosophy. Kids will eat when they’re hungry and will consume what’s available. It’s a simple equation: no dinner, no problem—no one is going to starve. Child protective services won’t come knocking because you didn’t whip up chicken nuggets when your child rejected their pork chop. Your child is savvy enough to understand that hunger will eventually drive them to eat.
Make sure your child arrives at the table hungry. Involve them in meal prep; let them choose vegetables or help clean fruits. There are also clever ways to sneak nutrients into kid-friendly dishes, like adding pureed vegetables to mac and cheese. If they’re still not eating? A multivitamin or a nutritional shake can help round things out (just steer clear of those right before dinner!). I’ve never met anyone who grew up malnourished because their parents followed the eat-it-or-starve method. Instead, they learn the value of trying new things—at the table and in life.
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In summary, my approach to mealtime may seem tough, but it fosters independence and encourages my kids to be open to trying new foods. Parenting is about setting boundaries and helping kids develop healthy habits that will serve them for a lifetime.