As you prepare to step into the world of motherhood, you will likely hear a barrage of advice from well-meaning friends and family. You’ll be encouraged to “travel now” and “savor your sleep while you can.” If you’re fortunate, some will even hint at the new bathroom companions you’ll have or the drastic reduction in your shower time. You’ll soon find that yoga pants and messy buns become your daily uniform—especially once spit-up makes its way onto your silk blouse.
However, the most crucial piece of wisdom you should absorb is this: you will lose parts of yourself.
In the whirlwind of purchasing onesies and stockpiling diapers, you may not pause to consider what lies ahead. Even if you try to anticipate the changes, the truth is that every woman transforms in unexpected ways after becoming a mother. It’s a journey that both empowers and quietly diminishes some aspects of who you once were.
You may find that you gradually slip down the ranks of your own priorities. Instead of being at the top, you might find yourself at the bottom of the list, especially if you have multiple children. Your identity might shift from “Me” to “Mom” as you adjust to this new role.
Initially, you won’t notice these changes. Your days will be consumed with feeding, soothing, and entertaining your little one. On the toughest days, you’ll celebrate simply making it through. You might share on social media that you’re ready to unwind with a drink after a long day, yet you could end up dozing off on the couch, binge-watching reruns instead. When you finally wake up, your plans for self-care may fade into the background, overshadowed by exhaustion.
You will love your children fiercely and devote endless energy to games of peek-a-boo and “Choo-choo” as they grow. When you finally dress up for an outing, you might find yourself regretting the effort. If you manage to have a good day, don’t count on a repeat performance any time soon; that kind of luck is hard to come by. You’ll feel joy and pride as your children achieve new milestones, yet amidst it all, you might feel a sense of loss.
There will be moments when you find yourself pacing with a fussy baby in your arms. As you rock and hum to soothe them, you may catch a glimpse of your reflection. For the first time in a long while, you’ll truly see yourself—not just a quick application of makeup in the morning. This woman in the mirror, with spit-up stains and disheveled hair, may be unrecognizable to you. Her eyes will reveal the weight of unspoken thoughts and feelings about your experiences thus far.
But fear not, dear friend. Hope is on the horizon.
As time passes, you’ll gradually reclaim pieces of your former self while transitioning into your new identity. Your children will grow more independent, and the days of nursing will eventually fade away, granting you newfound freedom. You’ll have the chance to enjoy a night out with your partner or a fun evening with friends without the pressure of a ticking clock. Say goodbye to the spit-up phase, and embrace the opportunity to dress as you wish again. With a little effort and patience, you’ll also find a way to take pride in your body, which has nurtured and brought your little ones into the world—a remarkable achievement in itself.
Throughout this journey, your children will remain your motivation and the reason you rise each day. They will be your guiding light, encouraging you to rise every time you stumble. Even on the hardest days, they will be among the few people you can’t imagine living without.
Take heart, dear mama. You will rediscover yourself, and this new version will be your best yet.
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Summary:
In the transformative journey of motherhood, women often experience a profound loss of their former selves, taking on new roles and responsibilities that shift their priorities. Amidst the chaos of parenting, rediscovering one’s identity can seem daunting, but with time, patience, and support, mothers can reclaim aspects of their individuality while embracing the joys of family life.