Feminism carries different meanings for everyone, but for me, it embodies the recognition that women are just as formidable and capable as men. Even in 2016, it’s clear that society often overlooks this truth.
Feminism isn’t about elevating women above men or dictating how women should present themselves or what choices they make regarding family life. It’s about ensuring that every individual—regardless of their gender—has the freedom to live life on their own terms. It’s about empowering both women and men to step outside traditional gender roles if they choose.
I’m proud to identify as a feminist, and I’m even prouder that my partner, Jake, shares this belief. Our relationship has always been built on mutual support as we navigate our roles in marriage and parenting. While we have our traditional aspects—he’s the primary earner, handles the kids’ transport, and excels at roughhousing—I’m the one who primarily manages our home and children’s care.
However, we also embrace nontraditional roles: Jake attends most of our children’s medical appointments and is the soothing presence during sleepless nights, while I oversee family finances and spending decisions. Being a feminist dad doesn’t mean Jake recites feminist theory; it means he actively participates in our family life without adhering to outdated expectations about gender.
Here’s what being a feminist dad looks like:
- Dads Don’t Babysit: When Jake takes the kids out, people often exclaim, “What a great dad!” No one says that when I take them grocery shopping. Parenting is a shared responsibility, and both parents should be equally engaged.
- Understanding the 24/7 Nature of Parenting: Parenting doesn’t stop when the sun sets. While some families may have the mother handle most nighttime duties, fathers are just as capable and need to be involved.
- Supporting Each Other’s Choices: Decisions about who works outside the home or handles daily tasks should be based on personal preference, not gender. Yes, biological factors like pregnancy and breastfeeding typically fall to the birthing parent, but everything else should be based on mutual agreement.
- Encouraging Individuality in Kids: If your son wants to wear a tutu or your daughter prefers a buzzcut, embrace it! Feminist dads reject gender stereotypes and allow their children to express themselves freely.
- Sharing Household Responsibilities: I can’t stand laundry, but Jake doesn’t mind it. I enjoy cleaning, but I refuse to be the only one picking up after Lego explosions. Each partner should take on tasks that fit their strengths.
- Team-Oriented Decision-Making: Every decision—big or small—is made collaboratively. This approach is essential for a healthy relationship and contrasts with how many couples operated just a few decades ago.
- Embracing Emotions: Let’s applaud the dads who cradle their babies to sleep, wear them, and express affection openly. Their tenderness is a beautiful part of fatherhood.
I know I’m not alone in having a feminist partner. Jake isn’t flawless—no one is—but I’m grateful to navigate parenthood alongside him. As we raise our two boys, I take comfort in the fact that he’s the example of fatherhood they’ll look up to. While I can’t predict if they’ll become fathers one day, I have confidence they’ll embody the values of caring and equality as feminist dads.
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Summary
This article celebrates the importance of feminist dads who actively participate in parenting and household responsibilities while fostering a supportive environment for their partners and children. It underscores the value of breaking free from traditional gender roles and encourages open-mindedness in raising children.