Back in my teenage years, being labeled a conformist would have been the ultimate insult. In the mid-’90s, I wore my Doc Martens, playful barrettes, and slip dresses with pride, all while sporting vibrant rainbow hair thanks to Manic Panic. Little did I realize that my quest for uniqueness made me just like everyone else.
Fast forward twenty years, and I find myself happily embracing the comforts of conformity. What caused this dramatic shift? Parenthood. Once I became a mom, the demands of caring for my children — from feeding to bathing — took precedence over my former hobbies of endless research and exploration. Now, I find myself opting for sleep over the rabbit holes of the internet.
Instead of scouring websites for the best products, I lean on the experiences of my friends and family. My cousin’s choice of a booster seat? Perfect; I’ll go with that. Before I even bought a stroller, I consulted my friends, and when they raved about the orange City Mini, it instantly became my choice too. Even my car color matches the silver that most of my friends drive!
This trend of crowdsourcing extends to everything: the snacks in my pantry mirror those of my friends, and my kids have the same beloved toys. If your cabinet is stocked with Annie’s macaroni and cheese, so is mine! We swap recommendations on books and baby gear, knowing we’re all navigating the same parenting maze. Some advice works for me, while other bits don’t, but generally, we gravitate toward the same essentials — strollers, car seats, and clothing.
Conforming has become a source of comfort. The parenting journey is riddled with uncertainty, and the fear of making mistakes can be daunting. By following a path others have successfully taken, I find reassurance in knowing I’m not venturing into the unknown.
While I still want to express my individuality — after all, I’m a natural brunette who now opts for a more subdued shade — I recognize that I can still be myself while using the same baby walker as a friend. There’s no inherent virtue in making life more difficult; swimming against the current doesn’t earn you any accolades.
I never envisioned myself as a suburban stay-at-home mom, but life has a way of surprising us. Having moved to New York City with dreams of greatness, I happily settled into a fulfilling life with my husband and two beautiful children instead. My definition of success has evolved; I no longer need the limelight. My priority is my children’s well-being — keeping them safe, happy, and healthy. Embracing conformity in parenting has become one way I strive to achieve that goal.
Now, as a parent, I’ve fully embraced my label of conformist, and surprisingly, I find comfort in it as each day passes.
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In conclusion, embracing conformity as a parent is not just about fitting in; it’s about finding comfort in shared experiences and knowing that sometimes, the best path is the one already well-traveled.